Hog Blog

I will...

2008-11-15T02:35:00.000Z

...update soon promise, just so much bad stuff happened.

intermission

2008-06-29T21:58:00.001+01:00

There is stuff to post, feelings to air, anger to shout. However im tired so very tired, stories will wait...enjoy the music instead...

Play this track

2008-06-21T22:56:00.001+01:00

I bet you sang, smiled, tapped your feet or even got up and danced.

Oh and I am sorry you will be singing this now for a few days.....

Word is getting round...

2008-06-20T23:29:00.001+01:00

...now have a black and white cat visitor, no collar on this one and is still quite shy, really hungry though, put some biscuits out and he/she finished in no time...soon I will have no bed for cats!!

Oh and Im ok by the way....lets hope I sleep tonight

Sleep

2008-06-20T00:02:00.002+01:00

Had about 12 hours this week, Im feeling ok suprisingly, I am more resiliant than I thought!

Ninny has moved in....

Washing machine has packed up..

Oh well such is eh?

Doctor

2008-06-18T00:05:00.002+01:00

I saw him last week, we are reducing the meds, think it is time that my head tried to deal with stuff again. I am worried of course, I have not slept for last 3 nights apart from an hour or two, my energy reserve is about to run out, no matter how tired I am as soon as I lay down, I am wide awake and irritated.

Feeling sad, but dont think that is too do with meds, I got email from government about strimmers and hogs and it was a load of fucking avoiding wiping our hands of crap. I hear stories about ppl that abuse hogs, set fire to them. A man that had a mum and new born hogs in garden and rang Derick to come get them else he would dig them up and put them out onto the road as he did not want them in his garden. I fucking wish I had been there, he would have had all barrels, I want his name and address to name and shame the bastard, sorry for swearing but it warrants it, I know you will understand.

Do I really want to bring a child into this world as it is right now? With fuck wits who are uncaring and not worried about anything apart from their own selves.

People who lie and cheat for their own gains, no matter what the outcome. To be selfish in my opinion is one of the worse traits a person can have. To just think of you own gain..

Im sad Im tired Im despondent, but have to try, have to try and make this life the people in my life be aware. Its all I can do.

Oh and why is it that it is so difficult for me to find love? Why is my life at a stand still, so still I am tripping over it. Others around and I do not begrudge anyone happiness, love..

Just when will be my turn huh?

Saturday night....

2008-06-14T23:39:00.002+01:00

Been over to Phill and Sveta's, looked after Nata whilst they went shopping...

sorry this was going to be long post but I have just been sick and feel a little shakey will update soon....

Yes

2008-06-10T23:00:00.001+01:00

....I have thought about adoption and one of my "life" plans was to adopt as well as have my own children...still is a plan one day.

Oh my hasnt the weather been lovely the last few days....set for rain now, still thats the way life goes huh?

I have to try

2008-06-08T01:48:00.002+01:00

..........despite all my worried I have to see on this one, never has some one touched me so deeply...if I dont I will be full of what if's...never has my life been lived my what if's, if i get hurt then i get hurt.

better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all??????

He does love me, he is not an a.hole ha ha.

I cant not see where this goes, the way we found each other is fate, I dont live life with regrets and I am a brave soul...

Let you know Monday...

Love

2008-06-06T23:58:00.003+01:00

Now it should be the one emotion that we all want in one form or another. Meant to be the best feeling to be loved and to feel love. We love our friends, our favourite song or food, or the man/woman we want to spend our life time with.

What happens in my reality though is I fall in love with the wrong ones, not bad ones all the time. In fact this one was completely the right one, I have never met some one that has been so in tune with me. Never met him I know, but the feelings were so real, the talk the laugh the sillyness, the teasing all real. As you know though he is married. I wanted to think really wanted to think that I could handle that.

I cant.

For some one that I have such strong feelings for (yeah I know it sounds mad) my soul mate (yeah I know), my one true love (if you dont believe that I do not care) the person I have been looking for all my life. How can I be with him when I would not want him to be else where.

Its when I lay down that it all comes crashing in. Where is he now, sharing a bed with some one else when he should be in mine. Of course I have no right at all to take him away. I strongly believe that if some one wants to leave their partner then it should be because they want to, not for some one else. I am the one that has the lonely bed, the being on my own and no number of texts or calls or chat could ever make up for that.

Knowing me like I kind of do, I will get and already am sulky over this. I will get demanding, demand more time, need and crave more time. Be with me be with me. The times he would be away with his family would kill me, why is it not me there with him. Why is it never fucking me??

Seriously is my life just one long piss take. Yep here is a great guy, one you connect with on all levels, but btw you cant and never will have him.

I have stopped this tonight, I can not bare the thought of my true love ending up hating and resenting me, which is what will happen, with all the will in the world that is what will happen.

I of course ask myself why I let myself get into this, plus why can I not take it at face value for what it is. Simple really ..

I just want some one that will love and only love me and be and only be with me..

Tears are rolling, but tomorrow is a new day, time to try and pick myself up again, gets harder each time now, especially as I know deep deep down in my heart there will never be a love like this was and could have been for me.

My life is a piss take and Im sick of it, this must be some cruel joke for me to fall like this, find the one and not be able to have.

I just can not keep doing this anymore.

Body tired....mind racing

2008-06-06T00:00:00.002+01:00

Jan thanks for you comments, I really do appreciate them as this whirlwind is knocking me off my feet some what. I cant help it, the feelings are out of this world, from both sides. Now I have been hurt many times in the past and my initial reaction to any attention is too push away. Of course part of me says, this is crazy do not do it, do not have these feelings, stop now whilst you can (hmm). I have been through it in my mind time and time again.

Yes I could be taken for a ride (been there) could be just a sex thing, could be a weird man who gets off on this kind of thing. Could be the biggest mistake I ever make.

However, I trust these instincts and I do not feel or think that any of the above are true. It feels like I have come home, I am safe I am loved, I am wanted and cared for. Its amazing I have been waiting for this all my life and now its here, I have to take a chance on it..dont I...would you not?

This might sum it up for you,,

2008-06-04T21:02:00.001+01:00

you know who you are

I know...im sorry

2008-06-04T20:46:00.002+01:00

Hmmm update did not quite happen, ok holiday was cool, weather not bad. I got an all over tan (yes) uhm broke my phone on the last night..bugger! Now it feels a million years ago since I went!

Its been work work work, not sure about the new boss, I dont gel with her. I am finding it difficult at the moment, but I try and just get on with my job, sales are going well and im still a top girl in the area!

Hogs are happy, still no sign of Ruby but I like to think of her out there meeting a boy hog and making lots of baby hogs.

Ninny has practically moved in, I have tried to put her out, told her to go back to her owner but she keeps coming back..silly thing, plus I am allergic to her, not great when she chooses to sleep on my bed!

Phill, Sveta and Nata are fine, have not seen a lot of them this week as I have been trying to catch up with things here. Spoke to Phill earlier who mentioned this. I love being with them and they ask me every day, but I was finding I was getting behind on my chores so its been good to get some stuff done here.

Some times life throws up some surprises, this has been the case this week. I have been talking to a chap about (some of you will know what and I will blog it at some point) He has blown me away, instant connection which is rare and unnerving to a point. I am not sure what is going to happen, I have said what I would like and what I need, but of course its not that easy, this is my life remember...yeah he is married...However I would not break up a family, this is again a tough one..

Need shower, will try and update again very soon..

....

2008-05-28T20:02:00.001+01:00

......holiday tummy.....loosing holiday fat fast...........

I am back...

2008-05-26T22:27:00.002+01:00

...but I want to be away again, very quickly...run down of events, some good some not so.

I booked the holiday on the Sunday and early hours of Monday, Phill took me to Stanstead, much preferred than Gatwick or Heathrow thats for sure. Was minutes to missing the flight as the queue for security was so long, my flight had boarded and was just just just in time!! Managed to sleep most of the flight which was cool and I had 3 seats to myself. There was some people on the flight that I found very annoying but I am really trying to stop thinking in that way..

Got to the other end and all was fine. I got my taxi and still half asleep I was taken to the place I was staying...and YES they had my booking and I got a wonderful room, really big, my own HUGE private balcony, air-con, fridge etc etc All good I am thinking, weather also nice.

I was very tired the first few days, think thats always the way, body just needs to shut down, brain switch off and forget about lots of things, well thats me anyway. Found the first three days I mainly slept by the pool on the beach or in my room, I did not even really eat for those days.

Eventually my body and brain came back to me and I was able to then venture out a little more. There was not that much to do or see in the place I was staying at..oh Portugal by the way..ha ha...Caveriro to be exact but to be honest that was what I was looking for, if there had of been lots and lots to do, I would have beaten myself up for taking time out and relaxing by the pool reading, or going for walks with no real purpose.

Weather wise, it was not so bad, many people were moaning that it was cloudy or that we had an afternoon of rain. But mostly it was hot and sunny, I even sun bathed topless!!! Food was excellent. I only had breakfast in the hotel, which was ok, again people moaned, but what do they expect..if they wanted the traditional english breakfast why go away to another country that does not get the same type of food that we do. They moaned at having to wait to get to the drink machine, moaned if they had to wait 3 mins to get a table, maybe they should get up earlier, I never really had the same problems. I wish though that they could be taped and have it played back to them, they might realise how silly they sound. But as I said earlier I am trying to be less critical of others, none of us are perfect, but petty moans do make me mad.

Another thing though, is women are odd, they are on their sun loungers (yes I was an early type that put my towel out and I am not ashamed to admit it!) Sun is out they are in bikinis or swim suit, sun is covered by cloud they get dressed, trousers, top etc...two mins later sun is out, they undress, two mins later cloud they dress again...whats that all about??

Well I will finish this tomorrow as I am tired, had crap bad day and just want to have nice bath and put head down...to be continued..

Passport is packed

2008-05-19T03:03:00.001+01:00

Im off to spend a week on a beach, hope the weather is kind to me...really need to recharge the old batteries...have house and hog sitter coming..yay..best get ready to fly..see you soon...

not sleepy

2008-05-18T04:22:00.002+01:00

Its gone 4 am, been on Internet for good while now....catching up on stuff, looking at stuff.

Forgot to say on previous blog I am teaching Nata!!! You would not imagine what she has to know before school in September, has to be able to read, write, add up etc...different in my day!! Plus now its all the phonics, I am learning that myself at the moment.

Remember this is a four year old Russian girl, her English is coming along a treat, but I am working hard and some times a little mean with her when she wont sit and learn..I take away her gold stars..yeah sounds mean, but she is behind as she is not English and I will not have that. Not as I want her to be some child genius, but I know how hard school is, as we all do and if you are different or behind, sorry but you don't have much chance plus it leaves you open..

Nata is a bright girl though and is picking it up lovely, we are doing numbers right now. However some she does right backwards as some Russian is written backwards. Good job they are sponges at this age..we are also learning a little french, I want the best for her, want her to be a success, have a real happy and fulfilled life. That is why I spend so much time with them..they are my family. For once I have a real family that cares and loves me. They want to spend time with me, its hard for me to deal with at times as I am not used to it, but I do really enjoy it. The feelings that I am part of that family an important part makes me smile big time!!

Its letters soon....OH BOY that will be hard I know...

Honest....

2008-05-18T00:58:00.003+01:00

...guv's I am ok, really well apart from...

Finally clearing the sinus infection after 4 weeks of hell, to start hay fever season. Had to go docs and get a pump to stop the coughing and near choking. Also my blood pressure is slightly high, but dont think its to worry about, thing as I have a lot of nervous energy and do not easily relax is the reason. For my dizziness and fainting spells, which he puts to the fact I had the sinus thing and bad ear ache he has given me some pills which have worked a treat, they are for vertigo and anxiety...at least now my forehead will be saved another cut from walking/falling into the door...yeah a bonny sight I am!

Having no man again, Im ok about, I miss him of course but well if it was meant to be and all that...

Ninny woke me this morning, she must have come in through the window again in the night. Having paws pad you first thing, when you are not expecting it is odd I can tell you. I rang her owner just to see if she had run off again and also to tell him that she was here in the night. He seems happy that I am not a cat hater and shouting at him!! I could not knowingly hurt any animal. Plus much better than any alarm clock...at least he knows I guess that if she is this way she will not get harmed. She is a wanderer, which does still surprise me as she is way too affecionate for a cat..

Work is ticking along, still not sure what to do..

Not really been out of late, still giving myself time..

I have the week off next week....wonder what I will do..?

tough in it

2008-05-15T00:40:00.002+01:00

thats life right now. I am ok please do not worry, but recent events have left me a little sad and thinking. Not sure but think a move would be god, but I thought I had stopped running away from stuff that I can not handle.

Its a no win no loose thing. Tonight for a little thing that was given to me I started to cry and I liked it, was a release, have not cried for a while for a reason and it reminded me of man. Guess I just felt lonely and again on my own, which is ok as I know the reasons why, but not easy for me to put here.

Some times I just want some one in the near to me way say "how are you" not just can you do this and this is not right or can you do this. Some times the old brave face does not want to keep coming out.

Still maybe I just need to fuck off some where, that seems very tempting.....

Oh and I am fine by the way....

Good and bad

2008-05-13T23:42:00.002+01:00

I left a message on the phone of he owners of ninny, he called me tonight. He lives over the road, apparently she likes to wander. Odd though he says that he was putting her food out but she was coming over here to eat the hog food. He was happy to have her back which was good, but I will miss her, even though today I did keep putting her out and telling her to go home, to only have her jump back through the window!!

Oh well...

Loose a man gain a......

2008-05-13T00:43:00.002+01:00

Ginger cat..now this cat has always hung around, many a time I have saved from the road etc...imagine my shock when I found her in the hog feeding station!!

Now she has figured out that she can jump up and through the window and has spent the last few nights asleep with me on my bed. She has a tag but the last time I called there was no answer. I do not know what to do.

Ninny as she is called is so affectionate, I can not believe that she would stray from home as she cuddles up right close to my face and sleeps on my legs so I can not move!

If I ring again, I do not know what to say, I have given her a little food, but she comes in for the fuss more than the food...what do I say? Or shall I just enjoy the company? She can go whenever she wants as she comes and goes via the window...

What shall I do??

spoke too soon

2008-05-08T23:39:00.000+01:00

am single again!!!!

Quick update

2008-05-07T00:00:00.002+01:00

as I must be off to bed soon, but realised that I have not updated blog for ages!! One reason is my new family, I spend probably 4 or so nights there a week. Nata is lovely and man does she have some energy or what! She has started nursery and loves it, even though on her first day she asked the other kids to be her friends, but they said no..she was asking in Russian tho!!

Sveta and Phillip are ok, its going to be hard as they need to settle into the whole married life thing, I feel for them I really do they have been thrown into it as they could not do it any other way, still I am there to support as much as I can. Sveta wants another baby, she is 38 and I understand her need to get this going, also she wants to have wedding here and nata christened, plus decorate house! This has over whelmed Phill so much, I know him too well so I know when his head is too full. Still this is for them to work out. However I do nip him in the bud when he is being sarcastic or mean, he asked me too so I do that!

We all went to Shepreth on Monday, no camera as I knew that I would be pulled from pillar to post, which I was. I am aunt Nicola. I love it, but man does it tire me out!!

Uhm Ruby was released have not seen her for a bit now, I am worried but not much that I can do really. Have 2 others coming and the other night had one in to remove some tics, they was in his ears poor thing, not the easiest place either to get at I can tell you. Still we managed to get them all out.

Have new boss at work, she is very sales orientated, very much come on lets do it! Or you better have a better day tomorrow! I am ok for now though as I am number 2 in the area out of about 45-50 sellers. For now I am safe but you can never be complacent enough to relax! Still the money is good, I will keep doing it for now, but I really do want a change again.

The love life....well dont want to say too much as dont want to jinx it, but will say I am happy. I am happy with the way things are going, its cool being relaxed and having a laugh with some one. Plus the kissing, holding hands and cuddling is cool. We are also going away for a night (hopefully) soon. I know that we are not serious serious and I will admit I did have a problem with this initially, but to be honest its like we meet for the first time each time. I feel wanted and cared for and thats good enough for me right now, plus well the other stuff..OH YES YES YES!

Uhm so all in all life is ok right now, ticking along nicely, still cant get rid of the nagging feeling that some thing will go wrong or it will all end, but guess that is because of how its been in the past. Another reason why it is good that we are not serious serious as I should not get hurt if it all goes tits up. We will see.

Ok off to bed for me..

How come???

2008-04-26T02:39:00.001+01:00

When you are single there is a baron desert?

When you are sort of involved in cool way, the offers come in?

Oh thanks btw for the comments on boo, really helped me

Am I

2008-04-20T00:18:00.002+01:00

Happy or sad?

You will note the date and probably the time I am writing this. Its been on my mind a while as the date has seemed to have come around so quickly yet seems an age ago now.

Seems like it was years since I was chatting with Boo, not sure why, as there is not many a day when I do not think about her, some thing happens and I think oh I must tell her she will laugh and then I remember Boo has gone. Then I think how lucky I have been to have known such a kind and giving person, even if for a short time, some people dont get that all their lives.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason, we meet people for a reason, we have our life stuff for a reason. I just can not think why she had to pass though and I wish and wish I had known her sooner. I wish I had done more to help her when she needed it most, but as we all know she never really told us how difficult it had got or how ill she was, I am sad about that.

Some times I find myself talking to her in my head, asking her what I should do and ask her for a sign, maybe wishful thinking but I do always get them in one way or the other. Maybe I will see a bird that she liked or some lettering that has her name, its hard to explain and yeah maybe I have been looking for it, but I can and will not accept that her soul and spirit has demised with her body. Boo has to be out there some where, probably not playing a harp or chasing the devil, but her spirit was so strong she cant be gone I just can not think that she is not the wind whistling in the trees, or the bird song that wakes me up at silly o'clock.

I do think of the good stuff I read her blog and laugh at her humour and wit and I want to celebrate her life. My thoughts are also with her family they must miss her so much I know we do.

A great lady passed a year ago, pleas do take the time even if just one minute and remember her. Also please leave a comment about your best boo moment. I would love to read them and remember them.

As for you boo, I think about you, you know I still talk to you and I am sorry for asking lots from you. But I miss you.

I miss you

I miss you

Yeah

2008-04-16T22:55:00.002+01:00

I know.....but there has been so much going on its been unreal!! Ok point form will be easier..

1. I have been ill, its been combination of stress, being run down getting all bugs going and not having any time off since September!! So had some time off to re-charge the old batteries. I am feeling much better now tho!

2. Phillip and family are back! Been spending time with them, trying to help as much as I can...Nata has been great and we spend most time together...but it is hard as she cries when ever I leave...really pulls on the heart strings, but I am so pleased they are here. I have my family back and I love them immensely.

3. Work busy busy busy 6 day weeks, but hey its overtime.

4, Man...yeah still on scene and all I can say is its good and I enjoy what we have.

5. 3 hogs up in the garden, Ruby still asleep..still not sure what to do with her as yet, but as it has been cold not too worried.

6. Few arguments with bt and the billing, but Im trying not to get stressed these days ha ha

7. Hayfever kicking in, which is lovey!

8. I have review soon with doc and I want to start reducing the pills, I feel ready.

9. Life is moving on at 200 mphs, which is cool but some times I miss the slow stuff.

10. Boo will be gone a year on the 20th.....seems such an age ago now, but I know she is keeping an eye on us all.

well, think thats all for now, will try and update more often, but well...I will try

Ha Ha

2008-04-04T21:28:00.003+01:00

Yeah the sex fairy did come.....mind I was looking hot...new scarlett underwear, painted nails and toe nails...hair up with tumbling curls and an oriental style dressing robe (short)...he was lost for words when he came in...candles lit we had a goooooood time!!

Still im not going to move too fast and I will take each day as it comes...but I cant get the smile of my face expecially with the texts he sends...mmm

Anyway, ruby still asleep, but 2 hogs up in the garden...yay! Checked em both over and they are fine.....good news all round I would say...now back to that smiling..

Oops

2008-04-03T01:40:00.001+01:00

Forgot to update!! Uhm well where shall we start? Was trying to think of the last update I said he was coming round....well I did not feel well so went to bed..ha ha!!! Think too much excitement?

Anyway, he came monday and it was cool, talked and stuff........

Still not sure what is happening but I am happy to be in his company for now...oh and OMG!!!

He

2008-03-29T01:01:00.001Z

is coming round....its ben hard but will blog more tomorrow....wish me luck eh...think I deserve it....?

time flies

2008-03-27T22:49:00.002Z

Boy does it! Not sure where the last week went!

Well it has been mainly work, so many late nights, avoiding the horrible weather, Ruby has been hibernating so is still in the shed! Thanks for your comments, I would never show him the blog, its difficult to explain, but it was I guess for the best. I do think that everything happens for a reason and that we meet people in our life for a reason. Most people that I have had meaningful interaction with I could say what the reason was, yeah you could say that looking back I am just picking a scenario, true. With him though I am not sure, maybe it was to show me that I could feel wanted and desired for me. Crikey many times I was not wearing make up and in my scruffs!! Dont know, I am still a bit hurt, which I know it was only a short time, but there was a connection from the first moment I met him.

However I am trying to think positively about it and enjoy the stuff we did. It wasnt just me pushing away, it would have been hard for us to be together and if the time was different....

Phill and Sveta still have no news about the visa, he has been away nearly a month, he is bored and wants to get back to work, I think he will be back soon, even if they are turned down, I do hope they are not.

Oh well, best be off to bed, very tired....yawn....

its late

2008-03-23T00:55:00.002Z

You know im not even sure if anyone reads this anymore, not that is important as such, as some times I need to just get some shite down. Not really sure why this helps, but in many ways it does. I know of many others that it helps by just typing their thoughts...weird how many of us cant say to close mates and the like how we feel. Yet on the Internet it does not matter, we can say anything we like as the odds of meeting people that read it are slim, although I have met a few.

Even the ones we meet we hide away what we are really thinking or feeling, yeah we put it on here, but we don't put the whole stuff do we? There is always some thing that we hold back, the personal part, the venerable part that can lead us to be hurt, we hide that, but why?

I have been hurt in relationships, family and friendships more times than I could ever even manage to write about. Im hurting now.

Why? Oh man I let some one in with out even knowing it, they snuck up on me, it does probably help they were the same star sign as me, I just understood where he came from and what he was saying. We laughed, we had fun, we talked, we hugged, we kissed we made love and it was the best I have ever had ever ever ever, man I cant even think how to describe the feeling that he gave me. Not just sex but a kiss on the back of the neck, a hand hold, brushing the hair from my face and boy could he kiss.

However we split up as I did the normal nicola thing, I pushed and pushed to find the boundaries and pushed him away. I have been thinking about it tonight, as to why I do this. I guess I want to get in first, so many times I have been rejected or told I am not good enough or a liar or a tease (long story) which I am not, I am just me a very fucked up kid that is looking for some one to love her, but love her in the way she is comfortable with.

The way she can control it, as in the person does not get too close. The way in which I act like a twat and test some ones weaknesses to the point they either come back or don't and most dont. I dont like doing it, but thats me. I dont want to get all "I blame my parents" etc, but I grew up with wanting love and getting love but not how I wanted, or needed and now its too late as I have cut them out my life, which in many ways has helped me as I am much more stable, but its still there. I just dont understand so much. Why my mum stopped with a man that would beat his children, why he never showed love to me, why they used to fall out, he would get so angry. It scares me now getting angry as I do not want to end up like him, I check myself.

Trust me its hard as I have such a temper inside of me, anyone would say that I am very laid back an patient, but some times I Boil inside, but I dare not let it out in case I end up like him, but even worse I do not want to end up like her, knowing her children are so un happy and knowing whats going on but not doing anything about it. I just cant get that out of my head and never will and that is why I take the pills!!! Block it all away.

Oh well I finish now, I am listening to Pink Floyd, does not get better than that...

Blimey

2008-03-16T21:22:00.002Z

I am really getting rubbish at keeping this blog updated!!! Think as am out more and enjoying other stuff I dont always have time to blog, I normally check my emails, check the hog forum and then there is something else I need to do.

Well I still have my cold, seems to be lingering nicely! Work is fine I am doing a lot of training for new staff, tires me out but its ok..

Going to have to cut this short just had a call and some one is on their way round..............thats another blog..

Back to the drawing board

2008-03-06T23:19:00.001Z

and that was that.....not going to go into too much detail, but men are weird and odd. One day one day one day

loverly day

2008-03-05T13:36:00.002Z

Sun is out, birds are singing, real sense that spring is on its way! Im of course stuck inside doing book work..oh well has to be done! At Phills, checked the spawn all seems ok with them, still think that it might be a bit cold for them, but guess nature knows best!

I am going out for dinner tonight with a couple of friends, should not be too much of a late one as work tomorrow, no doubt we will goto the Italian, I will behave myself dont worry!

Jan, you better tell me about yours too.

ok

2008-03-05T00:24:00.002Z

Have to share im happy!!! Never thought that an online dating site would find me anyone searched through the profiles and then got a message from some one that I can talk to, laugh with and its cool, really is cool........we have swapped numbers, yeah I know it could be too quick and all that. We are meeting up at the end of this month for dinner, am so excited, I of course will play it safe etc etc...but hey watch this space!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Need you

2008-03-02T21:09:00.001Z

http://www.blythwildliferescue.co.uk/campaign1/

Please goto the above link and sign the petition for FREE vetenary treatment for all wildlife, also please put on your blogs too...thanks

hmm

2008-03-02T19:36:00.002Z

Was going to talk about something else tonight, but have decided not too as well I dont really want too, yeah makes a lot of sense huh? Anyway, been one of them w/e's where you find your self evaluaing whats important in life, think I got kind of lost for a while. Back to the drawing board on a few things. I dont know, some times I think if I try and be more like this then that will happen and vice versa. I guess what it really is, is that Im not that keen on being me, whoever me is!

Anyway, saw my frog spawn today, there isnt that much of it, but all seems to be going well so far. Looking forward to lots of taddies, then some frogs..yay! Have had visits this w/e of a pair of Jays, they really are lovely birds, too quick and shy for the camera, but I might get them when they are coming for the monkey nuts. Dont know why but I always think of them as exotic birds, must be the colouring?

Oh some of you may notie that my typing as gone to pot, its not me its the laptop, you have to hit the keys so hard and Im not used to doing that, the spell checker thing on here also does not seem to work, think I have a pop up blocker some where, even tho I cancelled them on blogger...I dont know.

Well as we are set for snow, ruby will not be released yet...just thought do I have to do anything with the spawn if it snows? Now Im worried lol.. Christ I will have them tucked up in individual nurseryies soon.!

Oh well best be off and eat..

oh forgot to say

2008-02-28T20:27:00.002Z

Ruby will be released soon...

Phills pond has had frogs and now I will become a frog mum..yay

It must be the drugs

2008-02-28T15:07:00.002Z

I do actually feel better today, so what to do? I know after talking to oc and Jan last night I joined one of them online dating sites!!! Yeah it must be the beechams.....I have had 2 messages already! Although not sure that it will come of any good, there is one chap on there that is cute I have sent him a message so we will have to wait and see.

Other chap I should be meeting up with soon, but as I said im not thinking owt will come of it as there are lots of issues....as ever with me, shame as he is sooooo sexy!!

Oh well going to have some more chocolate...its medicinal you know!

Atchooooooooooo

2008-02-27T20:37:00.001Z

Yup again I am layed up with a massive head cold that is in my sinus, head, teeth, gums, neck etc etc.. Not feeling good at all, been off work but hope to be back tomorrow.

I will catch up with other stuff when I am feeling more human....

See what I mean

2008-02-24T14:48:00.003Z

The laptop just isnt right for processing the photos. Not that I took that many today as the light was ok for a while but soon went crappy. Still got a lot done in the house and Im going to phills soon to do some office work.

There is something else that I am really wanting to talk about, but I cant as yet. Yes it does involve a man, but not sure as to whether it will be just mates as yet. But well I cant say anymore!!!!

i have an hour

2008-02-21T18:15:00.002Z

Until I goto Gym ball so as I was on the internet updating the norton, thought I would update here too! I know I am crap at doing this now, but it is a good thing really as I am filling my life with all sorts of other stuf now, down side is I am normally going at 100 mphs to get every thing done, but when I do have some down time I hate it. I hate being sat doing nothing, just cant do it. I am actually thinking about getting some more activities going so I really am being fully active, after all we are only here once arnt we?

Some strange things have been hapening in my sleep, not only have I been scrtatching myself again, but I also woke up the other morning styling my hair! Last night I slept on my arm, but also had a really weird muscle thing going on, I couldnt even turn over, but as I was fine this morning when I woke up im not so sure that it wasnt just sleep pain? Or have I been wandering again? Who knows huh?

Think I said on an earlier blog that I am single again and looking if there are any single bloggers out there that would like to have friendship, fun and maybe more?!?!? Seriously though, im fine about it, plus there is no point in me settling for anything but the right person for me, even if the old biological clock is ticking so loud it keeps me awake at nights! I have even considered sperm donation. Not sure if I am quite at that level as yet, but I certainly would not rule it out. I am more than capable of bringing up a child on my own, but would prefer for the kid to know who its dad was, still think I have a couple or so years as yet to consider that one!

I am encouraged from others on here that are also taking their life back, wont mention any names but they will know who they are. Really makes me happy to see others getting out there and enjoying life and love again, such a buzz it really is.

You can probably tell from this blog that things arnt so bad right now, altho I do often wonder if its he fact that I am on a higher doesage 150mg or that life is actually not too bad right now. Guess wont know that one as im not due to come off the pills as yet!

Think I also have a solution to the screen and photos problem, think I can plug direct into my tv, which is a much bigger and better screen so will look as to what type of lead I need then get it and try it. Which means I can start getting some more photos on here again, which will be great as ive run out of memory cards! Plus sping is coming so more opportunities of nice weather, I hope!

I did an overaul of the garden last w/e stripped down the wildness a bit, cut the budlea, which bought me out in a rash on my face and loads of spots! Dug over the veg plot ready for planting son. Got rid of some of the weeds as they were taking over some what. Hope for some more nice weather as I want to plant some of the trees I have in pots into the ground, but dare not do it right now as there has been so many nights with a sharp frost, it will kill the roots. I also want to move the clematis too, but think I am too late for that this year now as it has started to leaf already!

Phill is off to Baku soon to bring back wife and child, that will be great as he will be much happier and content, plus I will have more of a chance to improve my russian! There will be lots to sort out, but its a good job that I am a sorter outerer!

Ok, thats enough for now, need to get changed etc..

Pissed off

2008-02-13T21:15:00.002Z

Last year I had squirrells trying to live in the loft, managed to keep them away and out the loft and blocked up the holes. Now they seem to be back, ok at first it was a great excuse to get men folk in my house and up a ladder, with me being scared and needing rescuing at the bottom of a ladder. Yeah I have been up there but shushhh. They seemed to have moved on but now sat here I can here something up there again! Oh well best try and get a man round..

Talking of men im yet again sigle, it just did not work out, but its ok as I wasnt really thinking that it would, still plenty of more men I can try ha ha!

What else...stuff seems to be getting to me very easily right now, I can read some thing and get annoyed and want to vent my anger, but as I am normally quite a chilled gal it stops me. I just cant take people that are up there own arses and talk shite and are full of their own importance, just pisses me off really. Its the whole artificialness of it all, not sure that is an actual word but I like it!

Still I choose not to go there so guess I just have to put up and shut up.

Catch up....went out last saturday had fun night, had some friends round friday night which was cool. No plans for this w/e...he he have to share, just had the loudest fart ever! Im in fits here.

Uhm where was I, of yeah, no plans this w/e I am hoping for some nice weather as I would like to get out in the fresh air and get some photos done, the only problem is this lap top as the screen isnt that great and when I was processing some the other day I just wasnt happy with them even tho I knew they were ok, so I have memory cards full and I need to really sort some thing out to process. I am also hoping to at some point get to the beach whilst its still winter and get some scenic shots, we will see...

Ruby update!

2008-02-07T21:42:00.001Z

Jusr weighed her now 1380g's!!! She is blinkin huge!!!

Day from hell!?!?

2008-02-05T18:25:00.000Z

Well it started off ok, wasnt up late didnt feel to tired, small ache from period pain, not too bad, weather wasnt fantastic, but hey ho. Went outside like I normally do, no dramas. In the shower, got all wet and shmpoo'd, damn forgot to bring hair conditioner in with me, out the shower, nearly slipped over went to the kitchen got it back in the shower. Noticed in mirror I have been scratching my fore head again in my sleep, now notice its sore and also looks like ive been attacked! Went out to see Ruby, cleaned her out, caught my arm on a nail...ouch! Also got poo all over my hands too.

Went to work, all ok on the way there, had really crap day, just all crap crap crap! Havnt heard from man either, which has peturbed me some what! Now the small period ache is turning into cramps like you would not imagine! Decided to go home early, just finshing off a few bits, got call from Phills next door neighbour, they have heard some one in his house...FUCK. Told them to call the police and would be there as soon as. Got lift over here, no one about, but door was open as was the shed, looked over but seemed ok. Spoke to phill, decided I would stay here tonight, he should be back tomorrow. Went back to mine, got some clothes etc. As soon as I stepped out to walk the mile back to his, the heavens openend up and I am now piss wet through. Not a happy bunny, plus every noise in this very noisey house is making me jump, just know I wont sleep tonight, still I have some numbers on stand by in case anything does happen and a friend of mine lives just up the road.

I am going to order a take away, have a cup of tea and try to relax.......just wonder what else will happen today! Oh and I am sure I am up to date on my tetnus jabs!!

I hate paperwork

2008-02-04T15:00:00.000Z

I am round Phills catching up on his invoicing, bill payments and vat, it was more work thatn I thought I had to do, never mind all caught up now!

Man update, did see him over w/e but im not too sure about this one, I have decided to take a back seat for a while and see how it transpires, but im not really thinking this will be the "love" of my life or owt like that. We will definatly have to see on this one.

Had Alex round saturday night for his birthday dinner, lots of fun and laughs as usual, another late night tho, having too many of them so I am taking it easy today, well after here, shopping, home, housework, change bed, gym ball, dinner then bed! Hmm best get wriggle on as soon be time to goto gym ball, plus I really need to shave my legs too as it looks like a million spiders have taken up residence on them!

Oh and I am also thinking about taking a short break some where in March, but not sure on that one as yet, I am just really missing the sunshine, BIG TIME. I think it will really help if I can get some for a week, dont care where it is as long as there is no grey miserable skies and just some bright sunshine...will think on that one.

uhm not sure there is anything else to update really..

where to begin eh?

2008-01-31T18:48:00.000Z

Why is there just not enough hours in the day anymore? I seem to be going at 100 mph and still need to speed up even more. Im tired though, feeling a bit old ha ha!

Ok here is the catch up......

After my not very sucessful dating experience I decided to not let it put me off. Had some friends around the other week and met a chap. He is more my type, Im atrracted to the dark and mysterious although he actually is a nice chap. He started texing me in the week and this carried on for a few days, he then came over one night. It was quite sweet as he wasnt after me for sex or anything like that, but was happy to talk and that. Saw him again that w/e, but for the past few days he has been ill in bed! I havnt heard from him today, so not sure whether thats a good thing or bad thing? We will have to see.

There has been several birthdays, leaving do's and general nights out to attend, its hit the old pocket a bit hard, staying in for a while now, well thats the plan, whether I stick to it is another matter!

Ruby is well happy in the shed she has made a beautiful nest and adds to it, she is still eating for england and I may weigh her this w/e, although im trying not to disturb her too much...the poo is still lovely too.

Gym ball is as ever tough and great, still thinking about getting to the gym, think it will be soon though as I really need to step up the amount I am doing.

Sorry I dont make it to chat, its just so hetic right now....but I often think of you and try and read your blogs so I know that you are ok.

Im coaching at work so that is taking up time too, will have to put some time in over the w/e as the persons assesment is on Monday.

Phill still away so im looking after te business and his personal stuff.

You see what I mean about time??

Ok I need to eat, if I dont fall asleep I will try and get on tonight, but my eyes are heavy.......

I will also update about whether I am still seeing said man, or have been chucked again!!!!

Sorry

2008-01-23T10:50:00.000Z

Didnt want to upset anyone by my earlier post, just nice to get it off the chest now and then.......im fine honest! Im not at least the same place that I was before Christmas, much better than then, so please do not worry. I dont know why I feel like I do, just in me, always has always will I guess..

not a bad day

2008-01-23T08:22:00.000Z

off work today yay!! got to have some blood tests then not sure what i will be up too, best run!

Doc Day!

2008-01-21T16:39:00.001Z

Had my ad check up, he is the only person that I can really be honest with too, even on here I sometimes find it hard, guess as I know some of you and dont want you worrying. Anyway in light of my recent (just before christmas) episode of not wanting to wake up again, he has doubled my dosage to give me a break from my head, which is cool as I dont have to find other ways of doing it that I do not suggest anyone try!

It is good for me to just blurt it out knowing that in an hour he wont be thinking about it or worrying, at then end of the day its a job too him, he tries to fix people, as best he can, I am thankful though that he takes time to listen to me, tells me when I am being silly, then tries to find a solution, im on 150mg's for 3 months then see how it goes, there is talk of trying another ad but would rather not at this stage as the side affects will be not nice to say the least!

Some of you may not understand what its like when you try and stop the world from happening, seems selfish in many respects as some people who die or who are dying should get the opportunity of life and then there is me or people like me, who just some days do not want to wake up again, want it all just to float away. When the subject of suicide (hate that word) arises the main thing people say is how selfish the person is being or that they have taken the easy way out, leaving the gap for others to fill and sort out behind them.

In my opinion thats crap, you have to reach such a level of desperation to even contemplate it, the natural instinct of a human being is o survive, thats in us all and you have fight that instinct fervently just to even plan your way out. You of course think about the ones you would leave behind, you agonise even try and put things in place to make it easier once you arnt there. When you are at that point you have such a heightened sense of awareness and sensitivity you get to the point when you really do think that the people around you are better off with out you. You start to rationalise that with out you there it would be less of a burden, less of a worry, therefore justifying the whole thing.

Oh and if you think that it is the cowards way out, think again, you think what it would be like to get those pills or knife or rope or whatever and do it. To over come all the guilt and doubt and do it, then tell me how much courage you actually need.

Of course this is when you are right in the moment, when you want the whole world to stop, just stop for 5 minues so you can take a breather. You want your head to stop going on and on and on, beating yourself up for every small misdemeanor. Its not the easy choice to make, if like me you arnt even good at doing it, the day after brings its own crap to deal with too.

Still thats life when you are like me, you grab the positive moments and try and make them last as long as you most possible can almost to the point of being obsessive over them and not ever letting them go, squeezing the very life out of each one. Then hitting the lows and just hoping that you can get through another one. Yeah its pretty crap, but thats the way I live, just waiting for the next good thing to come along so I can smother it!

Lovely Sunday

2008-01-20T11:53:00.000Z

Not! Good god I wish this rain would stop...anyway the date came to nothing, it was a good night, but think as I was doing all the talking that well maybe we just wasnt suited, ah well back to the drawing board as they say!

Here at phills again, but will definatly get my internet sorted this week, I will I will!!! Seems to always be something else to do at the moment, that my energy is being drained away, Im going to take some time out and concentrate on getting energy levels back up again!

Ruby is going to the shed today, I hope that she sleeps for a few months..I can then get my house back into some sort of order, thats this afternoon plan anyway!

Oh well best get on..

Problems

2008-01-16T12:09:00.000Z

Yeah you guessed it the ole internet, keeps dropping and to be honest after I have tried it for a while I get so fed up that I just switch it off! I will ring bt when I am feeling calmer and have a year to spend on hold!

Anyway I am at phills right now, meant to be writing up a report for my rating to give to the ad on friday, but im finding it hard as im not used to being positive about me or my attributes. I got some work people to write comments about me and it has amazed me what they have written and how highly I am thought of. I will start on that in a bit as I can not be at this all day as...........

STOP PRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yup thats right, I have a date!, its a friend of a friend, he is divorced has two teenage kids (dont live with him), good job own house etc... I will be honest its not my normal type as there seems to be nothing wrong with him, or he hasnt got an element of bad in him (women will understand this) but hey you dont know until you give it a try.

Not sure where we are going as yet, think a drink in town, I of course will play it cool and act coy etc, remember my lading training and all that.

I will try and give you a report either when I get home or tomorrow if the blinking internet is working.

Oh well best get this report done.....

monster!!

2008-01-09T16:47:00.000Z

Yoo Hoo

2008-01-09T14:48:00.000Z

Yup I am finally back, I still hate the laptop but I am trying to make it work! Ok too much to type about what has been happening, so bullet form is needed I think...

1. I am still single, didnt work out with man, too many issues bu we are still friends.

2. House is still wonderful and am loving it!

3. Spent Christmas and nye with phillip, had a nice time also went visiting others too.

4. Never got round to sending christmas cards, sorry....

5. Got myself into some hot water and bother which really upset me, but will say that later as its annoying still.

6. Been out with the camera but as of yet cant get the photo software o work o silly laptop.

7. Plan to take diferent directions with my photography this year and not just wildlife, have a few things in mind, but its the weather at the moment.

8. Phillips wife should be over by next month, god willing.

9. I made my usual resoloutions for the new year.

10. I am back on the fitness thing and have my own gym ball now for the house.

11. I am going to join the gym.

12. I will be slim for summer, ha ha.

13. Finaly I can use predicitive texting.

14. Alan is still in the box in the garden.

15. Ruby is now 950g's and will goto the shed this w/e as I think her cough is better after steam baths and menthol oils. Didnt want to keep pumping her with drugs so have been trying alternative methods, she is also a monster!

16. Got lots of birds in the garden, including male and female black cap. lovely thrush, who gets bullied by the millions of blackbirds I have.

17. Work is hetic and stressful, but they have changed our incentive again and this year I have a lot of money making potential, which will certainly help with the wildlife bills/!!

18. I am planning a holiday in spring, not sure as to where yet.

19. Still planning to see oc in summer (hope thats ok)

20. Love the fact that Jan is out and about and having fun!

21. Still trying to catch up with other blogs.

22. Going to phills for diner tonight.

23. Still looking for love....

Hmmm much easier to catch up that way, but I will expand on some issues as time goes on. All in all I am excited about 2008, have lots of plans, which should be great.

Well for now its time for Ruby to have a steam bath for her congestion, plus I am still trying to get my photos to load up......hope to get them on before I goto phillips.

Missed you...oh it wont let me check the spelling, so sorry

Spoke too soon

2008-01-06T13:03:00.000Z

there is a fault on the line, now im getting stressed

Its like the trains

2008-01-05T16:02:00.000Z

Im still delayed........hopefully should be back up and running tomorrow at the latest..........suprisingly im not stressed by this in the slightest!!!

Goodness

2007-12-30T17:48:00.000Z

Ok not back on until the 4th of Jan, then I will post catch up as have lots to talk about...just wanted to say thanks for cards and pressies sent..........never got round to mine again...oh dear

quick

2007-12-13T18:41:00.000Z

Im at phills using his Internet, mine will be ages as yet...boooooooo

I wont put a catch up here as im only on to look at sounds systems really, decided I want to stream line that too...

Anyway, I should be on before Christmas...ho ho ho ho ho.

offline again

2007-12-10T13:51:00.000Z

have to wait 7 workings days for change over in broadband :(

well where to begin ?

2007-12-09T21:19:00.000Z

Work was ok on Friday, I could get used to a one day working week! Went out Friday and had a few beers, few more than I was planning. Felt I needed the release. Bit groggy Saturday, but it was my Big night! Some of you know how I have liked this chap for ages, must be about 8 months I guess. I have known him longer but there are issues. He has a couple of kids (teens) his mrs walked out on them quite a while back now, he works very long hours and doesnt really have time to dedicate for a relationship, the last time I tried it didnt go anywhere, but Ive still thought about him often.

Last night he came round, bought me a gift of a hog money bank, really cute. We had some thai rice cake nibbles with some drinks, then I served pate as starter with a salad and toast,,yum yum yum, Then coked new pots with steak, green beans and broccoli for main. We were both stuffed after that, we watched tv and drank, talked and laughed. We was layed on the sofa, just cuddling each other, stroking each others arms etc, really lovely it wasnt at that point sexual, more than that, they type of time when you feel connected with some deeper than just a feeling that you want to sleep with them.

We had pudding, chocolate mousse..mmmmmmmm, more cuddling talking continued. We spoke about how its hard for him, but he needs to let some one in and take down a few barriers. I asked as he does believe in fate how come we always end up together, there must be more to this than there is now. We arnt really sure tho as to what that is.

Ok so now its 2 am ish, we are back to cuddling, he is laying on the sofa and im laying on him, both holding each other and then.....

He left just before 4, im not sure where this will go if it will at all, I really want it to though as he makes me feel so good and we laugh and talk...oh this is a tough one

here goes

2007-12-06T14:45:00.000Z

For the confused in Canada too! My house has been the best part and office space not homely at all, all the furniture was Phills so when he moved out the house was empty. Great opportunity to decorate I thought, plus I had to then buy all new furniture as well.

Moved Phill which took 2 days, lots of lifting and man was it heavy I had the filing cabinet fall on me crushing me and bruising my legs, several bruises and scratches up my arms and legs too. It was just me and him moving, but what he forgets is that a woman has bumps on her chest so not as easy at one point he moved and I thought my left nipple had been ripped off!

Anyway I then stayed at his new house, which is lovely btw so big and wonderful with a great garden, will make a wonderful family home! Then we went and collected some stuff from his mums house, also saw a bed and mattress for me so bought that and that went in the huge van we had hired!

Then the decorating, it all had to be done, walls, ceilings, woodwork, doors, skirting's..I dislike decorating and it took 5 days to do the whole lot! We had help for 2 of them days from a friend who I will thank by cooking dinner for sat night.

One day was spent at Ikea to buy the rest of my furniture I had to get everything from sofa to cabinets, cutlery, plates, cups, glasses, rugs, towels, duvet, pillows, lights, tv, you name it I had to buy it (thats what savings are for).

Then its make all the stuff put it in place and do the fancy touches ha ha. It looks really great and Im happy now to come home, before it got me down a bit as was in real need of decorating. Plus I now have all the stuff I need for a new home if I ever move!

Just sorted out hogs, Alan is now 740g's!!! Ruby is 450g's!!! Still thinking about what to do with them, Alan has been getting a bit restless but ive just taken his bed out and replaced with half a bale of fresh hay so he will be busy making a new cosy nest. Ruby is just adorable even though I still have to have her in the bedroom which does keep me awake! She will goto the shed soon, which will be better for her and for me......not sure if I was so lucky to have a man folk in my new bed they would like to be watched by a hog...ha ha!!!

Apart from that and eating countless ready made meals (yuck) havnt done a great deal else. Oh Phill and I did have a major row yesterday and we arnt happy with one an another, I am sure we will sort it out but he really did upset me.

Right, lets see what you lot have been up too!

back

2007-12-05T23:18:00.000Z

Sorry confused in Wales, I forgot to explain. I moved out my house so that it could be decorated. Now im back!! YAY, but on laptop and I cant get used to the keys, so short post for now and im dog tired too, been such a hectic week you would not imagine, actually over a week now....will catch up tomorrow, for now im admiring new stuff in my newly decorated house.....

Off line

2007-11-27T08:42:00.001Z

Not sure when I will be back hooked up to the internet..............be good.

ruby

2007-11-26T16:45:00.000Z

has a new bed.....

OK

2007-11-26T15:05:00.000Z

OK OK I will get back to cleaning the oven....hate this moving lark...

Alan Photos

2007-11-26T12:54:00.000Z

Ruby Photos

2007-11-26T12:49:00.000Z

Day one

2007-11-26T10:43:00.000Z

Of the big move and decorate....Hopefully soon I will be able to pick up the keys of Phills new house, then get over and list what needs doing, just waiting for a phone call. Last night as he got sooo drunk and a bit obnoxious we nearly had a row, first in ages, I managed to avoid the row and he fell asleep. Later I undressed him and put him to bed. This morning I got a cup of tea and have had a few phone calls, seeing if I am still talking to him no doubt, I will tackle him later. Have so much to do today, so why am I sat here?

Possibly due to the fact I have no energy due to the super bug that struck me down and turned every morsel of food that I have eaten since Friday night into gravy within about 30 minutes. Not fun when you are dragged round looking at cars to buy, less fun when you are in IKEA. Still im better today, but weak. I will of course get going after this cup of tea, then there will be no stopping me....

Carpet cleaners to higher, vans to higher, need to start cleaning the over (joy) and get some more food for ruby who has now decided to eat like a horse (yay). Not much will happen today though, tomorrow is when it all starts....

How old?

2007-11-24T12:45:00.000Z

You know its a good job I am able to laugh at myself. Thursday night Janes leaving dinner at the Italian, about 20 of us went, but of course there was pre-dinner drinks, not sure how it happened but I was a bit squiggly by the time dinner came round. Now there was this really cute waiter who I thought was about 27 ish, he kept smiling and holding my gaze..mmmmmm I thought. He handed my drink to me, I just put my fingers on his and smiled, he didnt take his hand away...whoo hooo I thought. He was damn cute dark hair, dark eyes...Well my so called friends cottoned on to this then and wrote my number on a napkin and handed it over, plus was taking the mick out of me.

At the end of the evening I came back from the loo and passed him, said sorry for my friends, we had a small chat. I innocently said "well you have my number", to which he replied

"YOU COULD BE MY MOTHER"

What???? I asked him how old he was....uhm 17....17.....17!!!!!!!!!!! I said my farewell. Then we went on to the pub for a night cap, where I asked the barman there how old he thought I was, he said 30, didnt improve my mood so much..

Still everyone else thought it was highly entertaining!

Ruby news, her appetite is returning and she is now 320g's so finally making some progress, she just escaped now when I was cleaning her out, right under the wardrobe, luckily I can reach under there, little monster. Her poo is near on normal now, plus the cough has stopped. Still giving her drugs and will do for another few days as yet, but im hopeful, quietly hopeful!

more ruby

2007-11-22T07:53:00.000Z

She was much more active last night, with that and a rather interesting phone call at midnight, I havnt had much sleep! Still good news is that she is now 301g's, I know not a massive increase but she is more active and eating more, in fact she is still in there munching away.

Oh the phone call........very interesting I can tell you ;-)

Im ooooot this evening, jane is going to another branch :-((((( so we are off to the Italian for a meal...mmmmmmmmmmmmm love that place for food.

Well best get some coffee down me to keep me up and about, might just need my strength for later ;-)

ruby....

2007-11-21T08:09:00.001Z

heard a bit of coughing in the night, odd cough really not sure if it was really a cough or not to be honest. She has eaten more than last night and has put on another 1g. Hopefully the panacur will kick in soon and the antibiotics as I really do not want to stress her by taking to the vets as she is only just relaxing (lavender really worked) I will give it a couple of more days. Oh the poo was much much better this morning, not green bit pale and was pleasant to sniff (am I turning mad?)

Ruby update

2007-11-20T21:44:00.000Z

Ive started her on a worming course and the baytril is coming tomorrow, hopefully it will sort her out, using some natural stuff too to balance it out some. She has put on 3g's not a lot but hey its an increase so im happy... she is in the bedroom though as its easier than the bathroom, think Im gonna get a noisey night!!!

Oh and not long now until I get my lair......oc will explain ;-)

worried

2007-11-19T21:27:00.001Z

As part of my normal cleaning out routine I always check the poo of the hogs as its a really good indication of health....but man that little girls poo was rancid, god only knows what she has found to eat before I found her. Its not a bad form, but you know when you have eaten something dodgy and the next day.....yuck! Ive started her on some wormer, bit earlier than I wanted too, but think it will be a good idea. Will see how they are in the morning, have to goto the vets tomorrow so will see about some anti-biotics too, hope they will just give as I dont want to take her down there as she is still so shy and refuses to un-curl, havnt really kept trying as I want her to settle, but if all fails it will be a warm bath to try and get her to uncurl as I want to check her tummy and legs, will give it another day....im worried tho

not quite the night...

2007-11-18T11:48:00.001Z

On my way back from the pub last night, was just about to get a burger, when I saw something small scamper along the underpass, ran down then wrestled with the prickly bushes and yup a small babe in there. Grabed walked home (short distance) weighed and 300g's. Had a quick check over and all seemed ok, nice and strong no obvious signs of injury or problems. Popped in box with alan for now, but will sort this out today would rather them be seperate as helps to know how much each is eating etc. Not sure how I am going to sort out the shed, but will think of something! Checked the box this morning and looks like a bomb has gone off!!! Think a trip to pets at home will be in order they had some nice boxes with little igloo homes in there that were quite reasonably priced, I could have a sort of stacking thing if more babes turn up!

Oh and I did go back for a burger.

Oh and didnt see chap :-( still came home with some one ha ha

offf ooooot

2007-11-17T19:04:00.001Z

there is a rumour that a certain chap would like to get to know me better..........................................................

Catch up again

2007-11-16T08:03:00.000Z

Well, been a bit busier of late, but still not exercising as yet, still coughing and yes still smoking, really not ready to give that up as yet, but I have cut down, makes no difference to the cough, but it is getting better and im not as snuffly now!

Went to a sort of Christmas fair (yeah too early) it was at a local school, wasnt uhm great and didnt actually buy anything, had a lovely Italian meal after though, yeah the honeycomb cheesecake...delish!

Little one is still doing well in the shed, whilst worming this week I actually managed to get some wormer in me too, not sure how much I digested but hasnt done me any harm so far, not something that I recommend though and dont wipe mouth on sleeve when you have some on there!! He is toasty in his box, been adding more bedding and he keeps dragging the bedding out, then I keep topping it up! Still at least the old stuff then gets changed. He will go into the hutch at the weekend, once its all cleaned out and insulated. Going to use tiles and bubble wrap then gap then tiles then bubble wrap so it traps the warm air! Clever huh ?!?

Last night I just chilled out in front of the tv and didnt do anything, tonight its Friday....and im out for the night, actually looking forward to it, wont be a mad one as so much to do on Saturday, but then Saturday is another night!!!

It stinks!

2007-11-13T21:59:00.001Z

As most nights now I find myself wandering aroung pets at home (Still not back exercising as yet due to feckin cough!) looking at all the stuff I would like to buy, the rabbit hutches and the cages with the igloo homes in. Anway im always looking for something to feed the hogs, high fat content and preferably natural. Well I come across this insect mix, it looks disgusting, but hey I thought it is more like natural food so better when he is released.

After coming back from the furniture stores, got very irate with one, as saw a bed stead I liked, said it came with the mattress, laid on that...ah heaven and only £250..Bargain, it was one of them memory foam ones, asked the lady for more details and was told "that mattress isnt included", but is on the bed, she shows me on the one that is and in her words "is crap". I protest saying that it is very misleading, she says it isnt, after a few words we left, was quite pissed off about it, especially as I was in a bad mood anyway, been a bit insular and a bit down of late, nowt to worry about im sure, but hey ho. She was so patronising too and horrible to boot!

Anyway, cleaned out hog, put some insect mix in and boy does it stink! An hour later he is munching away at this stinking mix! Also reminds me I walk home a different way now as the nights are dark and the park isnt lit, I go past the other side and there is a HUGE black and white cat, think its stray as has no collar and people put out food for it. Its very friendly and loved the kitten kibbles it had from me as a treat, thought he was going to rip the bag open and gobble the lot! Bless he did that push his head into your chest thing, so sweet.

Well going to check the garden for hogs and top up the stinking insect mix...urgghhhk!

2007-11-13T08:18:00.000Z

Oh and

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANNA!!!!!!!!

Hope you have a lovely day!!

Lovely damp morning

2007-11-13T08:10:00.000Z

At least it isnt a frost! I guess actually prefer it like this as the hogs that are still up wont be as cold when they come for their supper. Little one is now 405g's so we have broken another 100g which is fantastic! Still wont eat any meat based food, just likes his dry stuff, not too worried about that as he is eating very well, fingers crossed it stays like that. I know too well how quickly they can turn and go down hill when everything seems fine, so we aint out the woods as yet!

Picked up the rabbit hutch after work last night, it needs a bit of repair, also got a run with it too, ideal for a nice soft release, or catching any others, just need to work out what to do with the base as they can dig very well too, wouldnt want them escaping now!

Oh gosh look at the time best run...

Hog update

2007-11-12T08:03:00.000Z

Weighed him this morning and he is 395g's, getting close to 400 now, amazing weight increase in a week! You can tell he is betting bigger as he is longer than my hand now, also bloody strong too! No escaping either which is good as he cant get back in the box once he is out and whilst there are nice warm things to sleep in whilst he is out of the box, there isnt really any food that he can munch on.

Yesterday, whilst having many plans and being up at 8.45 am, I was soon back in bed as the period from hell came a knocking! OMG havnt had pain like that in a long long time. So the day was spent in bed with hot water bottle and pain killers. Im getting a bit fed up of being poorley now, just want a day when I wake up and feel well, still coughing, but it is getting better finally!

Oh well best get ready for work, Phillip is taking me in this morning, he says I would be better walking to get the cold in my lungs to kill the germs, but im not so sure..

arrrggghhhh

2007-11-10T17:14:00.000Z

Little monster!!! Just went into clean out and weigh and no sign of him in the box!!! The sides are about 2 foot ish high..what a climber! Must have used the extra bedding I put in... So he is in the shed some where, a very gentle tidy and found him curled up in the bottom of a bin bag I use to take the grass cuttings to the tip in! PHEW!!

He is back in the box now and I have put the lid on (still got air gap) with a bag of seed on top, dont think he will push that off! Boy that was a worrying hour!

Its Friday

2007-11-09T18:11:00.000Z

not quite in the whoo hooing mood though. Didnt feel to bad when I got up this morning, but as they day went by I found myself back in bed, after taking some photos. The light was all weird today so taking them was a challenge! Little one (alan) has put on another 20g's so thats good, he is doing really well, just hope that maintains.

Well my friend has just called to see what I am doing tonight, sniffing, coughing and smelling of albos oil I replied. She has managed to get me to agree to go out for a couple. Actually it will do me good, think I am starting to get cabin fever as I havnt really left the house all week or seen many people! I did say it was on the condition that I was home by 9pm..lol think ive turned 80 over night! Of course as I have been off all week havnt really stuck to a facial care routine so covered in spots, thank god for concealing! Im not shaving my legs either, I dont care if the man of my dreams is out tonight, he can have a coughing sneezing hairy legged me!!

Oh by the way, most of this post has been written under the influence of beechams, I hope to get back to normal soon x

some hog stuff

2007-11-08T12:20:00.000Z

For oc...

2007-11-06T19:39:00.000Z

Took a couple after I had cleaned him out, he has put on 60g's but im not so sure thats right I will weigh again tomorrow and see, anyway nice clean bed and I can hear him munching already, oh and yeah I know what a feast! You can see how small he is though, just keep fingers and toes crossed please...

1st night

2007-11-06T08:02:00.000Z

Little one had a good first night, he ate 4 handfuls of Iams cat biscuits, 2 handfuls of spikes and poked his nose in the egg and chicken combo. Will try some meal worms tonight too, doesnt seem keen on the wet food, but will keep putting chicken in as it will help build him up, think I will have to put bigger portions in tonight though as he was banging his bowl at 3 am insisting on more biscuits, amazes me when you think how small their tummies are, but I am concerned of over loading his tummy to quickly. I was out at various times in the garden looking for more, but didnt see anymore young ones, possibly they are about, it may mean an all night vigil, but in current health probably not a good idea, just being up last night has made me feel worse. I will see. I am sure that if they are there they will turn up and should get earlier with the fireworks hopefully over now.

Well off to work, wonder how long I will last today!

I knew it!

2007-11-05T07:28:00.000Z

I have been worried about the 2 large females still up at this time of year, ok its been mild but not that mild. My fears of late babies had yet to be proved. Well I have another cold so im suffering again, still im out most of the night with torch looking and looking. Last night I felt so bad I went to bed just after 9.30pm, waking up at 6 am cough cough cough cough, decided I may as well get up, it was still dark as I went out for my morning smoke (yeah I know) so took the torch out, just in case. Lo and behold a small prickle in the feeding box a 250 grammer, bless him, he is very clean which I was surprised at and also warm considering there was a frost this morning. Anyway he is in a temp box at the moment and will be transferred to a larger box poss Wednesday after I have had a while to make sure no immediate problems. Now I fear and worry about the other prickles that may be out there

not much

2007-11-04T16:37:00.001Z

Not ever so happy with these, but the birds were being elusive and could only sit so long with the window open, didnt think it would be too good for my cold! Now im starting on the paper work, well putting it in order at least so I can start to make a dent into it. Jan I will send the phone on thursday if thats ok ?!

oh well best crack on...still feel like shite

so much to do.....

2007-11-04T11:23:00.000Z

thing is its taking twice as long as I have to keep stopping to blow my nose or sneeze then run to the bathroom as a long line of snot has come out too...ewww. The its cough cough cough, my head hurts from coughing. Think I will have to look into the old cold thing as I shouldn't be getting this many in one year. As soon as this one clears im going to get that flu jab, might help build up my immune system a bit more, plus think I will take some extra vitamins. Im sure its the amount of people that I see in the day, plus the air-con is right over my desk, might ask if they can move the unit, that may help a little, but that will be quite a big change, but can only ask, if its affecting my health then they should do it.

Well going to go and stock up on bird feed, little birdies are nearly out, then try and crack on, although its nice and sunny here today so might take a few photos instead, lazy day...ah bliss.

not another one

2007-11-02T07:58:00.000Z

Yup another feckin cold! Im so fed up with them now, think it is because my sinus are playing up have been for a few weeks so it could be just that and not a cold, but im fed up none the less.

Its friday, think I will stay in this w/e though, thats the plan right now, will see if my resolve lasts, when I start getting texts asking me if im out tonight, or come out, or COME OUT! Hmmm maybe I could switch phone off, ok that will never happen will just have to stick to my guns!

Seen a lovely pair of boots in tescos, they are knee length and dark brown, must stay away from that store and not buy boots, must not take credit card with me and look at boots at lunch time and buy boots....step away from the boots! Could just try them on and see what they look like.

The thing is since my body shape has changed ive really got into buying nice clothes that are more figure hugging and look nice, plus of course the underwear to match it. It really makes me more determined to keep up the weight loss, ive dropped 2 sizes already, but as im not planning on stopping there I am slowing up on the clothes buying as a lot of what I have bought is now too big for me, its weird though as I get scared in shops to buy the next size down, dont know why think its a mind thing, cant really explain it, think women will understand it though.

Ah well best get a wriggle on, lots to do...NO boots to buy :-))))

ok

2007-11-01T19:04:00.000Z

Quickly as just got in from 3 mile walk and im off to gym ball, but spooky or what, I have just had an email alert from bbf, telling me that some one had replied on the topic that I started about boo, followed it and nothing had been replied too......hmmmmmm, spooky or for the less sceptical a message? Anyway got to dash, will try and get on tonight for a catch up, if you are lucky I will tell you what I got up to last night ;-)

I miss my friend

2007-10-31T21:27:00.000Z

Ignore the video on this one, but really like the song. Found myself reading through and catching up on blogs tonight, dont often get the time to look at them all. Ended up as I some times do reading boo's blog, looking over her posts and photos, some made me laugh and some cry, it feels like forever she has been gone not just 6 months. Quite often I will be walking along and see something that im sure she would have laughed at or understand my sarcasm at certain stuff. I dont want to forget who she was and how much she meant. Oh I dont know, just miss her, miss having the chat and laughs. Sunday mornings catching her on the pc before trying to get hubby up. Italian bums, the quest to make me more lady like and her failing miserably. The gift parcels that would turn up. Oh crap such a thoughtful lady, I still cant get over the fact that she has gone. Christ only 6 months ago, only 6 months can you believe that? I cant, really cant. I still miss her..

breathe...

2007-10-31T07:57:00.000Z

Well I survived and it wasnt too bad actually, certainly makes you think about your posture and breathing. Didnt think I had a problem with breathing but I can feel the benefits of actually breathing more fully, getting more oxygen into the ole brain and all that! It works on the principle that you stretch out your muscles therefore making them leaner and a longer shape, or to that effect. Enjoyed it so will keep going back, at some points I did think I was going to fall over and the tummy ones were a bit hard, but hey its all good!

New phone is soooo cooooool, didnt turn up til the afternoon so had a play with it then, but being a bit silly I managed to delete all my numbers in the phone whilst transferring them over from the old one...ooops! Today I will be mainly trying to get every ones number back, which will be a nightmare and involve a few calls to 118118 or the like! Im such a dizzy tart at times! Doing a second gym ball class on Thursday as well, its a bit difficult as I do walking on Tuesday and Thursdays but will be able to fit it all in I think...just means I will have to have my main meal of a lunch time like I did yesterday had a lovely jacket potato and beans..yum!

Oh well best be on my way, busy day ahead finding numbers!

excited...

2007-10-30T07:55:00.000Z

New phone will be here today! I rang them yesterday and went straight to get the code which you can then transfer your number to another provider as I thought that no way would they give me the phone that I was wanting. Anyway we had a chat and they are giving it to me for free, plus they are giving me extra minutes and texts for less than I am on now! It does mean that I am finally on an 18 month contract which I didnt really want, but hey ho...cant wait for new phone to be here!!!

Long day ahead today as some of you know I am trying Pilate's this evening, not sure what to expect apart from being in all sorts of positions that may or may not hurt but will certainly do something! Oh anon im not going on such a strict diet as 1200 cals, my body would give up on that amount, im more going for 1500-1750 the exercise will certainly help as it tones up the flabby bits and the cardio I do will burn no more than 500 cals of my food intake but I will still be eating lots of good stuff and drinking plenty of water, I drink a lot through the day. Its not a diet where I deny myself treats as I dont want to be miserable but I will achieve my goal by eating good healthy stuff and exercise, after all we are told we should do something for 30 mins each day that gets us out of breath! Oh and exercise also has beneficial affects on my moods, its the endorphin things! But thanks for your suggestions!

Well best get on with getting ready as I was late yesterday as I was being such a fanny in the morning, I sent my boss a text explaining that I was being a fanny, he found it highly amusing, bless....well if I can walk later I will post how it all went!

from anon

2007-10-29T08:16:00.000Z

Thanks anon, thought it deserved more than just being in the comments had me in stitches

After that post you might need to check your Dirty IQ. The answers are at the end.

Questions...

1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not
to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best
man always has me first. What am I?

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People
sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?

5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both
men and women go down on me. What am I?

6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me
you feel good. What am I?

7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I
come, it's news. What am I?

8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers
to get me off. What am I?

9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a
big swinger. What am I?

10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged
in my job. What am I?

NOW BEFORE YOU READ THE ANSWERS TAKE A MOMENT TO THINK HOW DIRTY YOUR MIND
WORKED HERE. ;-)

Answers:

1. a dentist
2. a wedding ring
3. peanut butter
4.chewing gum
5. an elevator
6. a nose
7. a newspaper boy
8. a glove
9. a crane
10. a toothbrush, of course!

goodness its monday!

2007-10-29T08:11:00.000Z

Had a bit of a mad one this weekend, not quite sure if Im actually over it as yet, but hey ho back to the work thing!!

Got lots on this week, the house is moving onwards so in the process of sorting all that out, phillip certainly knows when to go away huh?! Hopefully will be coming back with a new phone today if I can get that sorted out too, I like the 6500 classic nokia, but will have to see what sort of a deal I can get and whether I can get today or not. Lots of business stuff to do, oh and im starting my new campaign on weight loss for Christmas, want to reduce by two dress sizes so am giving up the booze and the mad w/e's and going to be a fitness crazed thing for the next 6 weeks so come the Christmas party I will be all slim :-) well thats the plan, wonder how long before I think...could just go out tonight...ha ha

For those that missed this last night (rude)

2007-10-25T08:02:00.000+01:00

How many calories do we burn during sex

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The diet literature explains calories burned while jogging, playing tennis or golfing, but similar information concerning sexual activity has, until now, been unavailable.

Yet, a survey of 206,000,000 people indicated that 96% devote more time and effort to sex than jogging, tennis, or golf, and we felt that the time was right for a new type of sex manual.

EXAMPLES:

1 hr. intensive foreplay Burns Off:
1 slice (large) chocolate cake.

25 min. nonstop lovemaking Burns Off:
2 slices of pizza with cheese & mushrooms.

53 min. of kissing partner Burns Off:
1 cheeseburger with 14 french fries.

53 minutes kissing yourself Burns Off: Christmas turkey with all the trimmings.

PREPARING THE BEDROOM

Includes setting the snooze alarm and dimming the lights: 42 (calories burned)

ADDITIONAL LAST MINUTE PREPARATIONS
Hiding the sex manual: 3

Decanting the wine: 4

Without a corkscrew: 268

MAKING THE FIRST MOVE

If you are shy: 15

If you are anxious: 43

If you beg: 100

SEDUCING THE PARTNER

If you are rich (cash): 5

If you are rich (credit card): 15

If you are poor: 200

INITIAL BODY CONTACT

Fumbling: 4

Casually rummaging around: 7

Seriously rummaging around: 42

REMOVING CLOTHES

With partner's consent: 12

Without partner's consent: 187

Removing socks by violently shaking feet: 418

AROUSAL AND STIMULATION

Blowing in partner's ear: 15

Blowing in your own ear: 2,512

DISAPPOINTMENT (after seeing partner undressed

Partner looks better with clothes on: 10

Partner wears corrective underwear: 15

Partner turns out to be of wrong sex: 100

You don't mind: 0.25

Partner wearing elevated socks: 50

DOING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME

Fumbling around: 4

Desperately trying to put something somewhere: 18

Completely missing: 126

POSITIONS

Italian (man on top; woman on bottom): 26

German (facing each other, but in different beds): 48

English (woman on top; man hiding): 15

American (both on top): 1,243

AFFLICTIONS

Leg cramp: 36

Making believe you don't have a leg cramp: 612

Sneezing (during intercourse): 7

Sneezing (during orgasm): 588

ASSORTED ACCIDENTS

Toupee slips off (if your partner knew you wore one): 5

Toupee slips off (if partner didn't know): 72

Extinguishing cigarette (in ashtray): 1

Extinguishing cigarette (in mattress): 17

Extinguishing cigarette (in partner's leg): 133

Calling your partner the wrong name: 50

ORGASMIC INTENSITY SCALE

Shoes flew off: 15

Expression didn't change: 0.5

Room turned purple: 4

Face turned purple: 78

Earth moved: 30

If Earth actually moved: 1,234,588

Moaning in Turkish: 506

THINGS OFTEN SAID AFTER SEX

"I am so grateful": 15

"It must have been something we ate": 15

"Was it good for you?": 15

"Are you finished?": 15

TRYING AGAIN

If woman is ready: 5

If man is not: 563

ROLLING OVER AND GOING TO SLEEP

After sex: 18

During sex: 546

While parking car: 212

SLEEP

Real: 5

Faked (a good way to avoid sex-craved partner): 74

TAKING A BATH TOGETHER

In a bath: 5

In a sink: 150

In a jacuzzi: 15,269

MAKING THE BED

With partner still in it: 44 (indicates either a neatness obsession, a severe optic disorder, or a partner who is very tired).

With you still in it: 97 (suggests extreme withdrawal and profound dissatisfaction)

KEEPING A JOURNAL

Maintaining your own record of sexual activity will be helpful for keeping track of weight loss. You needn't go into detail, just list the activity and the number of calories burned.

A typical entry in a woman's journal (for example) for a pleasant low-key sexual experience might read as follows:

December 1st: Sex with Harold

Explaining how: 12

Suggesting something different: 3

Calming terrified Harold: 40

Encouraging him to at least take off his socks: 8

Foreplay (a little of this; a little of that): 56

Intercourse (standing position): 22

Intercourse (holding Harold up): 10

Intercourse (urging him on): 5

Orgasm: not sure

Thanking Harold: 3

Waving bye-bye: 1

Total time: six minutes (taxi waiting)

Total calories burned: 160

Delicate?

2007-10-24T07:52:00.001+01:00

One thing that works for me is plenty of coffee, apple juice and red bull, not all mixed together but alternate them! No im just teasing honest ;) But it does work a treat if you ever do feel delicate...

Not much else to report right now, life is whooshing along. Im out for another birthday meal on Thursday (costing me a fortune) but hey im not a one to pass up on an opportunity for honeycomb cheesecake...Ive been really good this week too! Plus it might help my cold that is still not going...grrrrrrrr Im sick of sniffing, mind at least the cough has gone (dont think it was too do with smoking ; )) No sign of small hogs in the garden last night so thats all good.

Oh talking of which, please remember if you are having a bonfire this year, please please please check it before lighting it, ie move it bit by bit as there could be an animal that has taken up home in there. If possible do not build it until the day you are going to light it. Hogs with burns are horrific so please please please try and avoid this. Thank you

later..

2007-10-23T22:43:00.000+01:00

where was I, oh yeah the dream...anyway there was all sorts of wild and wonderful animals that had decided to migrate to my garden! Most bizzare I can tell you as you dont expect to see that every day in your garden, still would be cool if you did!

Been mostly in the garden again tonight, got home late from work, man its been manic today! Normally half time is a quiet time, but boy oh boy has the world and its wife been in.

I actually just signed in too see if Jan was back from the pub ok! Ooooo she is, best get some gossip time in....

Hogs

2007-10-23T08:01:00.000+01:00

I have two large females coming each night at the moment, it worries me they might have babies some where, hope they bring them to me if there are any, they should do. I worry as at there size (well on too two lbs) they should be now asleep so why arnt they? Oh god I dislike this time of year!

Oh all my worries about being late yesterday, I got a phone call to ask if I would goto another branch for the day, the one thats 3 mins walk away! Made a nice change but I couldnt go back there permanently. Im actually looking forward to getting back to my own branch today.

Didnt do much last night after hell ball, apart from have the hogs in and check them over, walk the garden most of the night with a torch looking for any. Not sure thats done my cold much good but hey ho! They are really into Iams cat biscuits at the moment, which are really good for them so I dont mind that it costs an arm and a leg to buy them!

Had weird dream last night that Bill Oddie lived in my house and we was waiting for all the birds to come back, exec pt we were getting zebras etc...finish this later...

Atchoo!

2007-10-22T07:53:00.000+01:00

Again, nowt to do with snogging, before you ladies start in..ha ha! Im feeling in a moaning mood this morning. Lots of things making me moan, the weather is very cold this morning, that bitter icy weather and we are set to have more rain :-(

I dislike plucking my eyebrows too, which look awful at the moment as one is growing back from the waxing incident, I might see what sort of permanent solution I can have, mustn't get confused with down below treatments...mind that would look interesting im sure! Well a short one this morning as I actually want to be at work early today, well makes a change huh!?!