Doctor
I saw him last week, we are reducing the meds, think it is time that my head tried to deal with stuff again. I am worried of course, I have not slept for last 3 nights apart from an hour or two, my energy reserve is about to run out, no matter how tired I am as soon as I lay down, I am wide awake and irritated.
Feeling sad, but dont think that is too do with meds, I got email from government about strimmers and hogs and it was a load of fucking avoiding wiping our hands of crap. I hear stories about ppl that abuse hogs, set fire to them. A man that had a mum and new born hogs in garden and rang Derick to come get them else he would dig them up and put them out onto the road as he did not want them in his garden. I fucking wish I had been there, he would have had all barrels, I want his name and address to name and shame the bastard, sorry for swearing but it warrants it, I know you will understand.
Do I really want to bring a child into this world as it is right now? With fuck wits who are uncaring and not worried about anything apart from their own selves.
People who lie and cheat for their own gains, no matter what the outcome. To be selfish in my opinion is one of the worse traits a person can have. To just think of you own gain..
Im sad Im tired Im despondent, but have to try, have to try and make this life the people in my life be aware. Its all I can do.
Oh and why is it that it is so difficult for me to find love? Why is my life at a stand still, so still I am tripping over it. Others around and I do not begrudge anyone happiness, love..
Just when will be my turn huh?
4 comments:
I feel the same way you do about those sick, sick, idiots who do harm to creatures. A bullet between the eyes would work...sorry, but I get incensed when I hear stories like this. And believe me, it happens everywhere. I do hope you start feeling better soon. Wish I could say something that would help. Always thinking of you, hugs.
'MAN' is the same now, as 'he' was one hundred years ago. Only there are more of us. WE will never change. Greed is how we progress. If we did not want more, we would still be hunter gatherers.
WE are the worst plague the world has had. We are like locusts, using all the worlds resources.
Hey girl: half full or half empty just keep on lovin' and doing your part. like you care for the hogs taking out their ticks and watching out for them. so keep on truckin' This will pass. Good things are ahead for you. I just know it.
I think it's actually a minority of people that are bastards.
Most people are all right, maybe a little ignorant but basically good-hearted. And quite a few are actually trying to change the world for the better.
I don't consider being selfish to be a negative thing necessarily. I'd definitely label myself as selfish, and I think that I wouldn't have recovered from my depression if I wasn't - sometimes you really do have to just concentrate on yourself, especially when no-one else is prepared to help you.
That said, I do think it's important to try to restrict selfish behaviour that adversely affects others. No point having a "fuck you, I've got mine" attitude.
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