Traumatic, wet now blue

God what an awful nights sleep. Most of you know I do dream a lot, plus its not unusual for me to have nightmares each night. You do get used to it, but some of them are just to horrible. Last night was just awful. I went to bed late, I was knackered so thought I would sleep the sleep of kings..how wrong.

I was outside and the hogs were out there, for some reason there was blue netting all around the house, this worried me as the hogs could get caught in it. But as I had been kicked out the house there wasnt much I could do about it. There were loads of hogs everywhere, but they were all getting caught in the netting and injured, all the hogs were covered in ticks, fly eggs with maggots crawling out of open cuts, each and everyone was injured in some-way. All I could do was to try and put them all in boxes. These poor lifeless hoggies, all bleeding with maggot's coming out of them, spikes missing heads lolling. I woke up in a panic, hadnt been asleep that long, but each time I went back to sleep I dreamt the same dream, but each time it got worse and worse. The last one I had before giving up on sleeping entirely, there were these people chasing the hogs and hunting them...God I woke up crying.

Well I got up and pottered about, dozing on the sofa really. Bit later I decided to go into Toon, as I need some stuff. The weather is miserable so didnt think it would be too busy. How wrong was I, still only two shops and I could come home. I had to goto the Mecca for all under 14 year olds..woolworths, the heating was on in the shop, full of kids and pushcahirs. They didnt have what I wanted, so went off to boots to get some bits and bobs.

On the way back the heavens opened, it pissed it down. What could I do apart from just carry on walking. It was awful the rain just didnt stop all the way home. Got in and stripped out my soaking wet clothes at the door, you could have wrung me out and filled up a bucket im sure.

Had some lunch, I felt so tired, put the tv on, found something to watch that didnt engage my brain too much and layed on the sofa. BAD MOVE!! As ive watched the grey skys in the sky, Im now fighting my own grey cloud. Dont know where it come from, but I think its taking advantage as I feel so tired. Got up went outside as the sun had started to come out, thought that might cheer me some what. But it hasnt. Sat out for a while, but no nice flutters to make me smile. So I came back inside again.

Now Im struggling. Ive given myself some tasks to do, to try and keep me going, but all I want to do is close all the curtains, get back into bed and wake up when its all passed. Sometimes Im just too tired to fight it, this is one of those days, Im just too tired. Of course I will, as I dont want it to engulf me, to take me over, to make me feel like crap, but right now, even typing is a chore, let alone do anything else.

Well Im going to do some of the tasks on my list, try and keep busy. Will have to goto the shop to get some hog chicken. When I get back I will try some boxing see if that lifts me. I might also just have a night in front of the tv too, with some dvds and a bottle of wine, so if Im not about you know where I am!!!