28 August 2006

well...

In many ways I wish I had taken advice sooner and started an anon blog, where I could really just say what I mean. Ive re-done this now 4 times, each time I hit the delete button. Why? Well im a soft person, dont like the thought of offended others with tales of woe and bad language. So im gonna just stick to the facts instead.

Phill is coming home on wednesday, it hasnt worked out the way he thought it would.

I dont know what that means for me.

Ive thought and thought and thought, but Im not coming up with any answers.

Thank god for music.

I want to live where people arnt.

I want to be a strong person.

(this seems to be building into one of those lists of affirmations for fucks sake)

I want to stop going down stupid paths.

For once I want the rug under my feet.

Ok this sounds mostly crap, its just my mind dealing with stuff. Its knocked me him coming home, mind gone into panic mode. Im a dweller, plus I need to know in my head how it will work out, not one for suprises ever! Ive already had about a 100 conversations we will have, sounds silly I know but thats me!

Well I guess I cant think anymore, will just have to wait and see. Always tomorrow and all that. If I actually believed in wishes then I wish, I wish...well you should never say your wishes should you ?!

3 comments:

The Quacks of Life said...

I'm sure it'll work out....

*hug*

nicola said...

No but it seems, just when I get my feet both on the same level, something happens to make me unstable again...

Yeah im sure it will too, just cant see it right now thats all

Anonymous said...

hang in there, nic. it probably won't be half as bad as you think now. and maybe phill won't stay all that long and you two will get along just fine.