and done...

with two hours to spare no less, now all I have to do is spend a night at the ex in-laws.......

Panic levels 0
Stress levels 500!!!!!!

Bags packed

That was easy! Also got a card, not taking a present as they give money over there, so I will get them something when they are living over here.

Next job is to pack my hand bag with tickets, visas and instructions.

Ha ha its 13.22 and im almost there!!! Who said you need to plan in advance, now if I could only get this orange of my hands!!! Bleach didnt work nor did scrubbing, hmmmm wonder what else I can use!

Panic level uhm cool 2

Shopping!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Not that I dislike shopping at all, damn it I forgot to get a card, bugger. Will pack first then pop out again.

PANIC LEVELS uhm now 7

Count down

Woke up and im orange! All over orange with white ankles where I must have forgotten to spray them with the fake tan....fuck it fuck it fuck it! Several people that I have called for help have found this very funny! My palms are orange too and my fingers. Fuck it, got to run need to drop off my mates lap top that ive been fixing then get to toon and shop....update later.

Panic levels uhm 5

Panic Moi??

The dress has been bought, I actually did see this lovely white dress, reduced from £250 to £30!!!! It would have looked lovely, but didnt think that I should really wear a white dress to a wedding!!! Settled for a black patterned dress, its very 50's in style, fitted over the bust then flows out from the waist. So as not to just wear black I got a wine coloured scarf thing to wear as well. That is the colour of phills cravatte so I kind of match!

Well, after a day of fannying round, I eventually pulled out my finger and have started to get stuff ready to go, ok the day before to start to do your washing etc might scare some people, but hey I thrive on stress!!! Made my list of stuff to buy tomorrow, I want a few vest tops and some 3/4 length trousers, stuff from boots, not much to be fair.. Ive applied two lots of fake tan this evening, will do another before I goto bed so im all bronzed, will also keep applying whilst over there so I dont look like a ghost!

Need to clean camera and pack, which I can do tonight, then once Im back from toon tomorrow then I can pack my bag.....eeeeek me pack my own bag now that will be fun! Must remember to get some photos taken for the visa too. Ive written a long list to take to toon tomorrow so I HOPE I DONT FORGET ANYTHING!!! Bound too really its me after all.

Must remember a card too, god there is so much to do still. MY hog sitter is moving in tomorrow to care for the house and hogs, of course ive cleaned top to toe of the house as well, gosh thats a woman thing!

Im sure there is something that im forgetting, oh I know, Im not sure where my passport is, bum, best go and look for that...........

Stupid cow!

This afternoon I have been feeling really odd, dizzy, pins and needles in my lips, every time I turn my head its like my brain is 2 mins behind. When Ive been walking I havnt been able to feel my feet. Ok slightly concerned, it has bugged me all afternoon. Ive been trying to think what on earth could be wrong with me, thoughts of some very odd disease racing through my mind. On the walk home decided I would ring NHS direct, but if they suggested going to A&E wasnt going to do that.

As I walked in and looked at the table, guessed it, who is the stupid cow that hasnt taken her AD's for the last 2 days.....uhm me! Its been withdrawal symptoms and boy are they feckin bad, now im really not looking forward to coming off them, however I am going to have a controlled reduction, doc wants to do it in a months time, I will give it a go, but too be honest Im actually happy staying on them now, im really used to being like this now, yeah Im still up and down some times, but much less than I was. What a turn around eh?!

Still hopefully I wont feel like this when I come off them, well best get in the shower im oot for dinner, ive just had an ad and im feeling much better instantly!!

Stupid cow me!

Love this song

says a lot to me too....

Extra time

As its raining this morning, phill is taking me to work so dont have to leave as early..YAY! Actually I will miss the walk as I find it very calming especially on the way home.

Anyway as I dont come home for dinner anymore, I normally go to a small park area and eat, I would stay at work, but I do like to get some air and some wildlife. There is quite a large pond there too, full of mallards and moorhens and their young, so sweet little balls of wire squeaking. Not many other common birds really, lots of piggies as you would expect in toon. Some blackbirds and tits, but not a great deal else.

One thing that does make me smile is the squigs, they are the tamest in the world and are quite happy to sit on the bench next too me sharing my lunch. They normally end up with more of it than I do so now I carry a bag of monkey nuts in my bag and they get a treat each day, they will even take them from my hand they are that tame. Then they zoom off to bury them, before one of the others see what they have.

If the weather ever brightens up I will take the camera with me too take some photos as its pleasant up there, ok its no beauty spot, but its in the toon and great to sit there on your lunch and just be with the wildlife....

Bleated...HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Pete!!! Wish some one would have reminded me, im crap at b'days!! Hope you had a lovely day.....and yes I owe you dinner now!

Other news, im still feckin ill, cant seem to shift the cold and cough, getting bored now and of course the penicillin has done something else to me!

Shit look at the time, best run.....

Tut!

Despite petes comments I would like to say I didnt stand him up AGAIN! Its not my fault that the weather has been crap and that I forgot I was working this Saturday! Anyway I thought that when you was stood up it was when the other person doesnt turn up, not when they merely wish to re-book.

Thanks for your comments btw, not sure I can do this as often as I was doing it as I dont seem to have the same time that I used to have before, I will try and update in the mornings, seems the only time that I have right now! Stupid cough has started now so was up again last night, soooooo tired now havnt really slept all week, so im getting that glazed look about me. Shame I have to work today as the weather is quite photo friendly for once, still lets hope its still nice when I return from work, although im meant to be going out tonight, but thats still un decided in my head as im still feeling like crap right now.

Shopping after work, think I need some more under wear ;)

I know.....I know

However I do have a very good excuse this time! Its called tonsillitis! Knocked me on my arse for the last week, been the most painful ever, ive been drugged up to my eyeballs which is great when you are running a fever too, lets just say ive spent many a night wandering about the garden!

This will have to be a quick catch up as I am going back to work today, well im trying, I seem to have a very nasty cough now, probably bronchitis...yeah yeah if I didnt smoke!

Talking of which the ban is in.....of course ive given up..yeah right. Actually I went to a pub on Sunday and it was weird not being able to smoke in there, didnt seem right, all the old boys in there were having a right moan about it, think a lot of them its one of their only pleasures left a pint and a fag, shame. Is it me though or do the pubs look less busy now?? I think that they should have just left it the way it was really, but then im not that keen on being told what I should and shouldnt do. I think there are much more pressing matters that the government should tackle. Binge drinking, should we ban drinking too? Heard also on the news that kids are now going to have lessons in school on how to conduct themselves like human beings, has this country gone mad, shouldnt that be the parents or guardians job? Dont even start me on the punishment of crime, it seems a motoring offence can get you more time than being a pervert, whats that all about? Should they really be cared for in the community? Now I like to think myself as a pretty fair person, but really should these people be integrated back into society, can you really change the person you are? I dont think you can really, I think that you are who you are and some people are just plain bad and its only this nanny state that stops us from really dealing with the problem.

Well think thats enough for today, I would like to say though that these are my opinions on the above and whilst im still allowed to have them I am happy to express them, wonder how long until we are all censored in some aspect of our lives..

More visits to the doc

He isnt all that happy with my progress so have had to have more tests to see if there is something else wrong with me. Had to have blood taken again...hate that, now we just wait again!

New birds in the garden like the goldcrest im also getting a couple of jays visit too. Would have the camera out but the weather is just pants at the moment and its not set to be any better, in fact sunday is meant to be dire....might have to change our plans pete and retire to the pub!

What am I?

Got an idea but it was dark and didnt get that good a look, very small birdie though...

What a w/e

Saturday was mainly spent shopping, ive gone a bit mad for shopping at the moment, due to that fact that nothing no longer fits and im having to replace every so often. The main thing im addicted too is buying underwear, can not go past a bra shop with out buying something,.....still it makes me feel nice when Im wearing a good bra with matching knickers, not that you needed to know that but hey ho!

Saturday night, went out with phill and some mates of his on a sort of pre-stag do stag do. Had a fantastic night, didnt actually get home until 10 am Sunday, but thats another story for later..............

Sunday was quite chilled, which is nice I like lazy sundays, watching crap on tv and drinking vast amounts of tea. The weather hasnt been great at all this w/e and too be honest isnt looking great for today either, but I will try for a few photos in between doing everything in the house, looks like a bomb has gone off in here! Drives me mad to see it so untidy so thats why im up on my day off about to tackle it!

Hoop and ball tonight, then netball tomorrow night, late night at work thursday too. Got a leaving do to go to on Friday, which should be fun. Plus im out with pete next sunday, oh sorry anon but pete and I wont be getting together, I think he would worry too much that I would get him to start playing netball and keep fit!

Ah well enough for now, best get on with the kitchen whilst the washing is doing.........a womans work and all that!

ok..

bit more time to catch up now....well a wee while as its netball tonight, think ive mentioned that already!

Well new branch is going very well, its nice to go in do my job then come home again, with out getting caught up in stuff that stops me from actually doing my job. The people are nice too, quite funny.

Phill has finally set the day for the wedding, just need to sort out his suit and I think we are there, well some presents and stuff, book tickets, sort out accommodation, etc etc. Still should be a nice holiday for me! Not sure what to get them for a present, think I will wait until they are living in England they will need some new stuff for their house, maybe a deal on a kettle and toaster! Dont know as yet.

Still taking photos, not as much at the moment, but once im in a better routine I will be back to normal again, so more for the website too.

This w/e is going to be another busy one, planning on decorating the bathroom and bedroom, well I say me, phill has said if I do the prep work he will paint and I really want this done as it does annoy me seeing it like it is. Got to pop in to work too, but that wont take long at all. Sunday think Im helping some one set up their broadband and look at his camera, its one of phills mates dad, he is really into his camera so going over to help him....then its monday again, got monday off YAY so should all being well take some photos then.

Docs on Tuesday to talk about the ad's, think I will see what he says, suppose its time I thought about reducing them, but I will wait and see what he says first of all, he might be happy to keep me on them for a while longer.

Veggies are going mad, the beans are up, all the fruit plants are being eaten by the birds or slugs....I dont mind though they have to eat too. Hogs are all doing well, eating well and leaving nice little parcels in the morning!

Oh well best be off and get ready to run about and throw the ball. I will try and catch up again soon, but it might not be until after the w/e now. Sorry ive not been about to chat, but I just dont seem to have a spare moment these days, its good though it really is...

Apologies...

Ive been so darned busy of late, Ive hardly been at home to blog or anything!! I will post a more in depth catch up soon, but Im at a breakfast meeting this morning and have to leave very shortly...yes its 7am!!!! Then I have netball tonight, we are getting good enough to consider playing other teams!! Maybe even proper matches and things, yay! Still doing hoop, plus also gym ball now, which is a killer. Ive pulled my back again which doesnt help and im also decorating at the moment too. Oh and helping phill get ready for the wedding....there just arnt enough hours I tell you! But its good and im happy, so cant all be bad can it?

Best be off else I will be late...

walk or bus??

Hmmmmm the clouds are thick and black, I know if I walk it will rain, if I get the bus it will be dry, think I will risk it!

Put some more photos on my site, I will put a link in the side bar eventually....its still very much a work in progress. Not sure much more will be added over the w/e as plans are brewing.

Well phill is also back this w/e so my peaceful tidy house will once more be shattered....ive missed him a smidge but dont tell him that...

Phew

only taken about 3 weeks for me to get it sorted, ok not quite done and luckily I had some help (thanks) but Im getting there

http://www.nicola-arthy-photos.org.uk/

I will add more over the coming weeks, not sure as yet what to add, apart from photos of course.....but its another project to keep me busy...just pleased the hard part seems to be over...YAY!!!

I need to moan

Warning this maybe a long and rambling post....

To be fair there isnt much that really gets me, im pretty laid back most of the time, yeah I get stressed at points, work can do it too me, well to be fair its more the politics that got me at the last place, now I can just go in and get on with stuff. Which is weird in itself, Im used to being left to get on with it, trusted with my judgement, now I have to report in, I some times feel like im being questioned I guess that is as im working for a new boss, that has been working with a lot of new people so doesnt as yet know that I do know stuff. Im trying not to let it get on me too much, but will probably bring it up with him. Although I do think he is starting to learn a little about me and more importantly how to handle me. I can at times be difficult, stubborn as hell really, but I know my stuff and can do my job...

The new place though is cool, its soooooogood working with blokes again, they piss about, take the piss but it isnt bitchy, there is no malice at all, just good ole fashioned banter, which is such a nice change, I dont have to be serious and concerned all the time...yay.

Im off tomorrow, meeting a Friend for lunch, think the weather is going to be crap, so my planned day of taking photos might go out the window, we will have to see. It will give me time to try and get the bloody album thing sorted at least I hope I can do that. My motivation levels have been weird of late, if it involves exercise im fine, im there, but owt else and I struggle. Hence why I havent been about of late, since getting the pc back, I dunno just cant seem to face it, dunno why, its not a reflection on the rest of you its just how im feeling. Im meant to be having another AD check up soon, I wonder if its all in my head, I dont want to come off them, therefore I make myself feel like shite so I can tell doctor that im still bad. Then to be fair I still get the days when I struggle like hell just to get up, in fact sunday I stayed in bed all day, then when I did get up I laid on the sofa and fell asleep! Its not that im lazy, but sometimes its so much easier when I am asleep, my head switches off, I dont think, its great. Unless you actually experience a head that never switches off you wont understand, im not being up my own arse at all, but try continually thinking about everything and anything 24/7 and you will know what I mean.

Yeah you could say what do I really have to worry about, im not ill or owt like that. However its my opinion that it can be worse when there is nothing wrong or anything actually to worry about. If there was then you can either try to fix it or live with it. But when there is nothing to put your finger on, nothing you can say oh thats why I feel like shite, it kind of make it worse. Im sorry if you disagree with this, I know some of you who read this are and know of people that have "real" problems as do I, but this is meant to be how im feeling so im only going to quantify as if you have never felt like I do then you wont understand.

Its also the continual questions that go round and round, whys what ifs, what fors. When I was younger stuff was pretty hard at times. There was times when I used to ask God to do me a favour. I can remember once asking him if he could make it so that we didnt have swimming, I cant remember why now, but I didnt want it to happen. Next day swimming was cancelled, now I know that you could say that it would have been cancelled anyway, it doesnt mean that it was an act of god, but its not the only time that I have asked for something and its happened. As ive got older its more become bargaining, oh if only that would happen then I would do this or that. Now I feel like im out of favours with nothing left to bargain with. I often think of what it could be that i have done either now or in a past life that I have to live with myself like this. Its the pure hate that I feel too, hate for me really, its odd and I know some of you will understand this and some wont. After all why should I hate myself? Or am I just fishing for an ego boost? I dont think I am, at least I hope im not, as thats no me. I hate any sympathy unless im looking for it, banged elbow or hit head or feeling poorly, but then I tend to ask for it.

I know the mind is a very complex thing, has to be really to work the rest of your body, but I just wish that I knew where the off switch was sometimes. I think it also has something to do with the type of person you are, cant quite remember what it is, but some people are more receptive to their inner being and to the world around them, im sure anna could tell me what it is, or if I remember by the time ive dont this I will say. I done a few psychological tests over the years and one of them said I was this way, its bugging me now I dont know the name of it, might have to google in a bit!

However the main thing that I guess I feel the most is remote, which is bizarre considering that I work with people all day long and have a lot of interaction. But I feel cut off, different as though Im talking another language that no-one else understands. Or could it be thats what I tell myself to think as I dont want to feel like I belong. You see why I get so confused! Then at nights, when its quiet and still I can hear my head even more, dont think im proper mentally unstable as such, you know hearing voices in your head, they dont tell me to do owt that I should be worried about, well not to others anyway. But its the questions that drive me mad, I often think that maybe I should talk to the doctor about that, but then I worry in case he thinks im mental..fuck I have a problem and im worried about what my doctor would think of me, guess there is a part of me thats still normal, actually thats the part of me that was programmed at an early age to never tell anyone how you feel or of you have any problems, best all kept in that is..

I dunno, just sometimes I wish it would all just stop, like you see in movies, everything stops.

Guess I best try and end this on a happier note, im ok really I am, I get like this now and then, just read over the blog there might be a pattern im missing. Anyway hogs are outside huffing away so thats good. Really its all good in a way, but I just cant seem to be happy, there is something missing and plenty of reminders.

Oh well, best get ready for my fourth night of staring at the ceiling trying to get my head to shut up...............................................

Im not obsessed

Im not, ok a little, but the fitness thing is really addictive just love the feeling of complete knackeredness after a game of netball or boxing, when you are drenched in sweat and cant move. The ache of your muscles the next day, telling you that you worked hard, the bits of my body that are toning up nicely, although some bits are being particularly stubborn and staying wobbly!

Only thing is, I always loose my breasts, not in a I need a map kind of loose, but always when I start something like this, they deflate, im sure ive gone down at least 2 cup sizes (yes this is a thing you need to know). Im going to have to buy some new underwear as my bras are all too big for me, just bought a load too, damn it. Why cant you choose where you want the effect to be, tummy and arse would be good, but oh no lets loose the breasts first, keep the bis you want to be toned to last just too annoy you!

Anyway off to netball in a bit, its like 200 C out there so will be coming home in a puddle...ewwwwwwww

Hoop!

It was hilarious!!! I can HOOOOOOP!!!!I was so impressed with myself, I can turn in the hoop too, really feeling it round my waist too. Anyway now decided to do one of them ball classes after the hoop. Im going to get so fit...or collapse. Netball tomorrow looking forward to that too.

Getting nearly there with the photos, I should have the gallery up and on the site by the w/e. Im off Thursday so will be out taking some photos and by Sunday all should be up and running.....fingers crossed.

First Day!

At the new branch, Im looking forward to a change, short blog as batteries run out in keyboard!

Its a non-contact sport you know!

Only a few minor injuries last night, grazed arms ball in face that sort of thing. Worked really hard again last night, the young un's dont half nip about the place..Its good fun though, oh sorry to shatter any mans fantasy but we dont wear th short blue skirts of the tummy hugging knickers, well not as yet anyway! Going to also start a hoop class on a Monday evening, its meant to be excellent for the hips, tums and bums. Considering the fact that I never was able to hoop before I am sure it will be extremely hilarious too! I have been practising gyrating my hips..omg if only you could see me!!!!!

Well last day at the branch today, hope its busy so it goes quickly, then its the w/e WHOOOOO HOOOOOOO!!!

Its Back!!!!

Got delivered yesterday afternoon!!! Got most of the stuff back on, but I did have a few router problems, but gave up with them, plus the apprentice was on and I do like that programme!!!

Just need to sort out a few more bits and bobs then I can start to put photos back on, which will make me very happy indeed! Not tonight though as its netball night so I do hope the rain stops for this evening. Talking of netball I cant remember it being so injury laden. So far in 3 weeks, one lady has hurt her ligaments and is on crutches and another has a broken finger..........Must try and not be injured especially in the finger region!

Im looking forward to the new branch next week, it means a two mile walk each day, but that will be good for me too, of course I will have to be more organised at home but thats ok Im sure I will manage. Just means I will have less time for being on the net thats all.

Think I mentioned phill bought his g/f an engagement ring, I was tidying up last night and saw the bag, so of course I did what any other single gal would do....tried it on, but uhm then it got stuck on my finger, mass panic erupted as thoughts of chopping off said finger rushed through my mind, or I would have to go to Baku and sit with her 24/7 so she could have the ring. Oh god it took ten minutes to get the ring off, ten minutes of sheer panic I can tell you. Ive put it away now to stop the temptation, because I would do it again...wouldnt you??

grrrrrr

Well pc should be back Wednesday, at the moment its lost in Birmingham some where! The people at HP have been great though so cant complain or moan too much. Lets just hope it finds its way home, they have put in a new hard drive, mother board and two memories, goodness knows what I did too it! What else is new then, forgive me if Ive told you already!!

Im moving branches, as of next week I will be at a larger branch, its about a mile to walk there each day ( 2 miles a day think how tight my arse will be) but im looking forward to it, I need a change I really do so thats all good.

I am also working on something else for my photos as blogger is filling up and I cant just start a new one as it counts all the blogs you have and the photos, but this should be sorted when I get back on the pc.

Oh remember the money and court issue, well the cheque was one of them rubber ones, great!

Phill has bought his g/f an engagement ring, I tried it on, then preceded to cry, how soft am I??? Anyway he is going over soon to get married, really happy for them both they deserve to be happy.

Yes I got chased by about 40 cows at kings meade on Sunday, they had horns and everything. They circled me and rounded me up, then proper started to scrape their hooves on the ground as if they were about to charge so I had to escape through a pond mud up to my you know what, trainers ruined so need some new ones now. Got a few photos of the dragons about so will process as soon as I can.

Loads of baby birds in the garden all chirping away each day, so nice this time of year, but I do feel for the parents.

Cam is still broke, as soon as pc is sorted that will be my next job, still getting a few hogs about each night, ive been out with the torch to check them all and they are all fine.

Netball is going well although a little knackering, but thats good isnt it?!?

Oh I have been reading all your blogs but I cant seem to comment on them from this laptop, Im sorry I will catch up soon though, promise.

Well thats about it for now, think I will be back up and proper running at some point over the w/e or early next week, depending of course on pc, but Im looking forward to being able to do my photos again thats for sure!!!!