I would just like to say thank you, for every ones kind words for Jacks passing away. I have taken great comfort in them and they are helping me immensely through this time. I also take comfort in that hopefully there will be some grumpy little hoglets about soon, so his short, sweet life wasnt in vain....
I phoned up to check how Jack was, to find out he died yesterday morning. He was doing really well and they were hopeful, but then his breathing went very erratic in the morning and five minutes later he died.
Im so upset for him I just dont know what to do.
I think the pc maybe on its way out! Its still whirring too loudly and now when I switch it off an error message comes up, but it is too quick for me to read what it says, as it is just at the last minute before it clicks off.
So if I suddenly disappear, the pc has finally given up for good. Hope I can at least try to save some of my photos onto disk tonight, plus do a back up...
Well I hope to be able to see everyone later.....
I just didnt want to get up this morning, was laid in bed listening to the radio, sun was shining through the window, birds singing....I think we should only have to work during the winter months or when it rains, plus w/e's should be four days not two!
Another busy day ahead, got to goto the solicitors, must buy some sunflower hearts (not from solicitors)probably queue in the post office for a few years, oh and work! Plus its another late finish at work, I dont mind as much but its a real pain when I get home and still have all the jobs to do in the house, with less time to do them in. Suppose I could say sod it wont do them, but then I feel incredibly guilty about doing them. I guess I shouldn't give myself such a hard time!
Ok, I know now my hair is an Orange brown colour... Today for 2 hours in the morning we get some-one over from another branch, really helps me, as I can get through a mound of paper work, in my paperless office!! Anyway, she is a lovely woman, but nowt if honest after she stopped laughing and making me turn in circles under the light, she did say it was still orange but more brown orange.. SOOOOOOO I think I may still go ahead and add some highlights when I get home from work :)
Got this thing at work later, but should be ok, think Ive prepared enough, too be honest Im pretty good at blagging my way through things, so if there's owt Ive missed it will be fine. Its not a fun thing standing up and talking to people, too be honest I hate it, as I tend to get quite tongue tied..nah it will be fine..
Should also get my half year rating this week too, although I already know what I am!
to everyone that were talking about spiders last night!!! Several dreams (nightmares) about being attacked by spiders, at one point I even gave birth to them eeeeeeeeek. It was awful loads of them just came out of me..shuuudddddeeerrrr.
Was also blinkin cold last night, I ended up with 2 duvets as I was shivering!!! Im quite tired this morning, however tuesdays are always better than mondays!!! I must remember to get some more sunflower hearts today the feeders are nearly empty. The resident robin is still happy to perch on the feeders, still looks odd to me.
Well they are calling for their b'fast so I best serve them...
Well the garden needs it, the grass has become quite brown and patchy in some areas. Apparently set to rain for most of this week and next. Me being such a lazy cow is pleased as it means I dont have to get the watering can out each night to water the pots :)
Hog news, both gals are still coming to feed, quite late each night and never hang around, so lets hope they both have babes some where. Im putting out food and water day and night for them. The jackdaw numbers are increasing, they swoop in take a beakful and then are gone as if they never were there. Such funny birds, I love to watch them land, they then do a funny hop!
Well best get ready for work......I hate mondays :(
All cleaning duties done, inside and out, still doing the washing, mainly because I put it on the wrong cycle, was going to go to the shop next but
MY HAIR IS ORANGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK its Sunday, I woke up at 7am but refuse to get up at that time on a sunday, must be breaking a law or something...Got a few things to do today so will list them here, then see how many I achieve (isnt this fun)
dye hair
clean house
hoover house
clean bird feeders
clean all water baths
washing
change bed clothes
pay bills
start work on my presentation for tuesday
cut grass
go for walk
take some nice photos
buy sunflower hearts
buy cigarettes (one thing sure to be done)
reload photo software and learn how to use it
have a bath
There is possibly more things but think thats enough for one day, ah well best get on with it, well I will have some breakfast first, then I will work out what jobs can be done using the power of multi tasking, I cant do one job at a time, I like to be doing several at once. It makes it less painful..
Next time I say Im going shopping on a saturday afternoon, please stop me!!! It was PACKED..queues of angry people, I feel sorry for the checkout people its not their fault, the whole of the town decided to do their shopping at the same time. I really must look into this home delivery thing, as to be honest its all named bulky stuff, I tend to buy fresh stuff from waitrose, so it would save me time and more importantly sanity.
I feel sick now too, which isnt good, maybe its the heat and stress...maybe a lay down would help.....
Well work was utterly boring and quiet, hate quiet saturdays, just want to be busy start to finish then get home not clock watch! Now im having a row with myself, I know I need to go up to sainsburys and do a shop, but I dont want to...Hate shopping, must find some motivation. Whats worse now is Ive got that really tired feeling, where your whole body feels heavy and cant be arsed to move or do owt!
I will start to make a list, then see what happens, I really must go, but I could go tomorrow, but you wont go tomorrow, I will, you wont, I will, you wont.......the battle in my head.
I need some-one to kick me into action!! Im just plain no good on my own...now im all upset, too pee'd off with myself to go shopping...No must go shopping
Not been very good of late at updating this, must try harder!
Well not that much has been happening really, hog news Jill and Ickle are both doing well, eating well too. Work has said if I raise £100 they will match it for the wildlife rescue place, so thats really good stuff!
Trying to keep as busy as possible, in order the normal crap in my head doesnt get the time to bother me. Going to dye then highlight my hair tonight (no there wont be photos). Working tomorrow, plan to work late possibly 3 nights next week, if not 4. Less time that I think about things the better!
Sorry not really in a sharing or talking kind of mood...
You Can Have It All
by Kaiser Chiefs
I tell you what it’s going to be like
I saw you on the bus and that was that
There’s more to this than passing by
There’s more to this than meets the eye
I tell you what it’s going to be like
I saw you on the bus, I saw your shoes
They fell apart some time ago,
I’ll buy some more in 5 years
It’s not my fault, I don’t care
I don’t regret a single thing
It’s not my fault, I don’t care
I don’t regret a single thing
I tell you what it’s going to feel like
You’ve lost a limb and you can feel it
It’s too late, at night, not by my side
‘Cos I’m not there to hold you too tight
I tell you what it’s going to be like
Well you can never hold my hand in public
They can’t know or understand
That you and me are now together
It’s not my fault, I don’t care
I don’t regret a single thing
It’s not my fault, I don’t care
I don’t regret a single thing
You can have it all if that’s alright
And I will give it all to you ‘cos you never fight
You can have it all if that’s alright
And know that you can have it all if it’s alright
It’s not my fault, I don’t care
I don’t regret a single thing
It’s not my fault, I don’t care
I don’t regret a single thing
You can have it all if that’s alright
And I will give it all to you ‘cos you never fight
Before that you could have it all if that’s alright
And I would give it all to you ‘cos you never fight
Before that you could have it all if that’s alright
If it’s alright
sorry no updates....
I saw a hog Sunday evening about 9pm out in the garden, as this was a bit early for them, I watched him out the window to see if he was ok, sometimes a mum who is feeding will come out to get food whilst the young are asleep. As soon as I saw him walk I knew there was a problem. He was hobbling across the grass then stopped under the birdtable turned his head and looked at me.
Into the bedroom to find a box, found one full of stuff. Stuff now on the floor back outside to the hog. Grabbed him, he curled up, which I thought was a good sign as he was still strong enough to do that. In the box on a pillow case and bought indoors. Went out to the little shed and got the plastic storage box from there, more pillow cases some food and water, then hog was placed in there. He started to eat straight away, again a good sign. Now Im in panic mode as at this point Im not sure whether its a girl hog or boy hog. If its a girl then there could be hoglets left in the nest.
I let the hog settle for an hour, still eating and drinking, kept him dark, warm and quiet. I took him out of the box so I could have a look at why he was hobbling and so I could see if it was a boy or girl. Quick feel on the tummy, I was 95% sure its a boy...phew! The front left leg was facing outwards and it was awkward for the hog to walk. Well nothing I could do on a Sunday evening so I put him back in the box, just before I put him back I had a look at his face for ticks, mites etc. I had my thumb under his chin just gently stroking and was talking softly too him. The most adorable face in the whole world was looking up at me. Resisting the urge to cry he went back into the box, a very clean looking hog, no ticks, hardly any fleas really strong hog.
I didnt really sleep that much that night, I was on hot water bottle refilling duty every hour or so to keep him warm, also to fill up the food dish, blimey what an appetite.
By the morning hog had done what hogs do, so cleaned all that up, then he went into a smaller box then off to the vets. Got to the vets and they said leave him with us. No I will wait thanks. They wouldnt let me go into the vets with him, so immediately I was on edge. The woman came back out a few minutes later, telling me the whole leg was broken and the vet was putting him to sleep. Some where this voice came out of me saying NO I WILL TAKE HIM SOMEWHERE ELSE...she started to ask me where, but I was just can you get him please. Then she went back in and hog and I came home.
Much phone calling later, we were in a taxi to goto a wildlife rescue place. I had spoke to them on the phone and they had a very good vet, that had worked with the wildlife they had rescued, so thats where we went. Lovely couple paying for it all themselves, they were a bit shocked I had travelled 30ish miles in a taxi with a hog, but very pleased.
Hog saw their vet yesterday, turns out the elbow joint is dislocated so he is on bed rest at the moment, hopefully this will sort itself out, but the ligaments may be damaged, so its now a waiting game to see if it will fix or not. Worse comes to worse he will have to live in an enclosed garden, but this is so much better than the other option.. I will send them a donation for his care, people like them are very rare to give up all their time and money to help the wildlife around us, makes all the crap that happens in this world seem so insignificant. Still thank god there are people like this in this world.
Well eventually I went to bed last night well early this morning about 2am, last time I looked at the clock was about 4.30 am. Im sure it will only be a passing thing, Ive been sleeping quite well of late a full 6 hours each night, to be honest anymore than that and I feel worse. The radio came on at 8 am, I felt surprisingly awake and refreshed. Listen to the radio whilst having a cup of tea, figuring out what to do today. Get up and go over to Cambridge? Go back to sleep for the rest of the day? Start prepping for decorating the kitchen? Sleeping for the rest of the day was a preferred choice, but thought I really should get my arse out of bed and do something.
Off I went to camrbridge, not far on train then a short walk to the botanical gardens (pictures above). As I was there fairly early it was nice and quiet. Wasnt really in the mood though to be honest. I just sauntered about not really looking at anything in particular. Took a few photos, but heart wasnt in it today. Still its meant to be good to keep busy isnt it? I came home when it started to get busy, to many darling children running around exercising their lungs!
At home now, thinking what shall I do..sort out garden, home, or have a snooze? No cant snooze will really fuck me up for a nights sleep tonight. Still thinking..oh I could watch the cd's Jan sent me...I really cant be arsed to do anything but sit, which leads to thinking, which isnt a good idea....dont get me wrong Im not slipping into a deep depression (least think Im not) hey I hope not, Ive been so on top of it for ages, really dont want to go back to how I was a month or so ago...
Ok best do something as Im dwelling. Problem is I really cant be arsed!!
He went....now I gave myself two choices I could either open something nice and cold, which in turn I would get all maudlin, or head off for a nice walk somewhere.. I chose the latter and went off to the damsel fly patch, but saw none...always the way! Still weather was nice, couple of nice looking thrushes and some quacks! The above photos are where I go to see the damselflies, not a stunning place but its nice and quiet, a place you can sit, ignore the smell of dog poo and contemplate life!
Too quiet for me, wanted noise, good job I rescued the kaiser chiefs cd, plus good job my neighbours are out! As it is currently playing at a ridiculously loud volume. The aim of this is too fill my head with enough noise to drown out the niggling silence! Its weird, just now I put the kettle on and got out two cups for making tea, wiped my eyes turned off the kettle and had a beer instead!
Ah well, maybe cambridge tomorrow and the botanical gardens that might cheer me, should be in full bloom, which means lots of flutterbies for me to concentrate on!
Well enough for now, going to turn up the volume even higher...
Lovely hot and sunny day, shame the place was full of little kids on a school outing......didnt stop the kingfisher from showing had some lovely views! Well Phill is off tomorrow, plus Im back to work Monday, so feeling a little gloomy at the moment :(
What a fantastic day! Saw some fantastic birds, too many to count! Highlights were really stunning views of a marsh harrier, fly by bittern and some fledged house martins....Oh I want to go back!!!! I will add more text tomorrow, Im so tired and behind on chores, hogs will be knocking for their dinner in a moment!
