Too much noise so....

I tried something a little different with them, see what you think...

hmm

I woke as I normally do this morning, my wrist was a littel sore, but didnt think anything of it. Had a shower as normal, but as I was getting out, I noticed a strange mark on the base of my thuumb. Its a perfect ring shape, about 3/4 cm in diameter. It feels like a burn mark to me, but how on earth have I managed to do that through the night? It is a perfect ring shape, I did wonder ringworm, but the hogs here havnt had it and to be honest it looks nothing like ringworm, it does look and feel like a burn. I am completely puzzled though as to how it got there. I did take a hot water bottle to bed last night, but it is completely covered with a fleece casing, so thats not where I got it from....its like ive been branded...but by whom????????

One of those days..

The ones where you cant do right for doing wrong, everything you do just doesnt work out the way you wanted it too or expected it too. Its been a tough couple of days with one thing and another. Work has been throwing up some lovely challanges, luckily all sorted out. Christmas party on Friday and I dont feel in the slightest bit Christmassy, not even a smidge!

There of course now is the table plan to be sorted Im not sure what is happening there, but there is already talk about who doesnt want to sit near this person or that person. Me I will be quite happy if they serve my meal at the bar! Its not so much the going out, but the problem when you go out with people from work, its very much work, work, work, work and hey some more work, but there are some people going that I havnt seen for a while so will be nice to catch up with them at least.

Apart from that there isnt a great deal happening at the moment, still trying to master a new setting on the camera, but failing miserably, which in turn is making me miserable! Doctors next week for a check up on how the pills are making me feel, not really sure what to tell him there, im feeling more even, but still getting the downtimes, but if I say this they might up the doeseage, not sure if I want that either. Ive kind of come round to the fact that I will be on them for a while, yes they are helping in their own way, but I would rather try and get better myself, than rely on them. If that makes sense???

Oh well best do something, keep myself busy, its the only way!

Squirell again!

Poor birds didnt stand a chance!

Raining again

Oh god what an awful morning!

Good news Tyke came back last night, she has stayed over too :) Not suprised though as the weather is awful here at the moment. What happened to the cold yet sunny days? Give me cold and sunny over warm and damp anyday at least I can get the camera out. Talking of which lets hope the rain stops long enough at lunchtime so I can get more practise in!

Level 9

OMG cant believe I didnt get that sooner!!!


If anyone wants to have a go

http://www.weffriddles.com/?.html/

Tyke..

Has gone, she left at 2.54 am and didnt come back all night. I do hope nothing has happened to her. Possibly gone off to her winter nest now for a nice long nap....wont stop me worrying though.

Oh must just say thanks Janine for getting me addicted to that riddle thing. I can see now that I will sit here for days on end, I wont work anymore, eat, sleep......I still cant get past 8 though :(

Photos

I have had a very frustrating day, but im smiling (tablets have kicked in) Even though Ive spent 30 mins on the phone to BT, who cut me off twice, wouldnt take my complaint or help me in anyway, im smiling! In the end ive sorted the problem myself. I might still send them a letter of complaint if I can be bothered!

Ive just tried the clothes on that I bought on Saturday, they are a bit big but think they will do, I might wander down but to be honest the extra room for the meal wouldnt be a bad idea! Must remember to wear my control pants too ;)

Apologies

But if I dont get this out, im in danger of taking steps backwards and ending up as mush again!

Im sick of being used, but to be fair im more angry at myself for letting myself be used. Not so much as used, but I suppose to be fair ive made the rod for my own back. Always putting myself out for others not moaning, just getting on with it. However when I ask for help then its not answered.

Im mad at phill firstly, he is over in russia with the g/f, he text me to ask if I could spare him another week as he wants to stay on. Whilst understanding this entirely after all if you find love grab it with both hands and do all you can to keep it. But he has responsibilities here, mainly the business, it needs sorting out, I spoke to him the other week expressing my concerns, which he agreed we would sit down and sort out. I can do it all, but only if I know which direction he is heading in. Im concerned the lack of money coming in and the increasing bills running up. However he is the type of person that doesnt worry about stuff. What will be will be. This is fine, but normally means more work for me, as when he does make up his mind I will then have a shorter time to sort it out. Now its ok for everyone to say, dont do it dont worry, but I have a link to this too, I dont want to get fined, plus the thought of not doing it fills me with dread. Im not one for not completing a task, just un heard of. So thats not an option.

I just need to try and get his head out his pants and back to reality. As I said I understand he is in love, but well that doesnt pay the bills!

Secondly Im mad at myself again, for still feeling down, still getting annoyed at things that I have no influence over at all! Why oh why do I have to keep beating myself up over it I dont know. There are things in life that we just cant or I cant change so need to accept it and move on! A prayer springs to mind, but cant think what it is now.


Well apart from all that, I tried to get some new boots today, now being completely anal about my footwear, its no surprise I didnt find any. My current pair have been with me for about six years now. If there is one thing Ive learnt is not to buy cheap shoes! Tried one pair on, but we didnt bond, so they went back on the shelf. Problem is mine are starting to break, I could perhaps try and get the re-heeled, that make them last a bit longer! I did however get a new outfit for the christmas do, thank god for tescos! I had to move some money over from one of my not-to-touch-savings-accounts, but hey ho!

Ive got new neighbours too, havnt seen them yet, its the normal making up furniture banging! Apart from that they seem pretty quiet, hope they like wildlife!

That feels better, sorry for moaning and all that, but sometimes I just have to get it all out so I can draw a line under and move on.. I know I will end up sorting things out here, but to be honest thats who I am. I sort out stuff, im a gap filler too. Have a gap I will fill, then when you dont need or have that gap anymore I will fade into the background again waiting for the next gap.

Ratings

Well at 9.30 am this morning I will find out what mine is! Too be honest I do have an idea what it is going to be, but it will be nice to have it confirmed. Then its just the wait til February to find out what bonus I will get. Ive worked so hard this year Im hoping its a good one.

Tyke doesnt seem to be showing any signs of hibernating as yet, she is still eating a lot for a small hog, I think she must be well on the way to 800 g's now. Im so pleased that she has been putting on weight, it has been a worry this year with so many small ones not making it. I do hope she does think about sleeping soon though, else she will have to come to Brighton with me at Christmas!!! Only joking Birgit!

I feel a bit sad this morning, not sure as to why, just flat, thats it I feel flat. Its going to be hard to get motivated today...

One for sorrow

Time to update

Well....I seem to have managed to drag myself back up again, to be honest thats the worse Ive been for a long time. The tears were just flooding and I didnt know how to stop them. Ive also been very short tempered and not my normal calm, understanding self. Which is why I needed just a wee break to try and get my head together. Its so hard having to be "normal" at work, then try and come home and be "normal" too. Just sometimes I want to hide on the sofa and not speak to anyone at all. I just went into myself thats all.

Im not fixed by no sense of the word, but dont feel the need to hide as much, thats not saying that it wont happen again though.

Other news, got the results of my smear, which were not conclusive so had to have another one this morning..which included a sweep? Not unlike the machines that sweep up the leaves from the curbs. What really makes me confused though is. When you are asked to undress, the nurse pulls the curtain round, in order to give you some modesty!!! Erm how does that work then ??? Maybe she keeps her eyes closed whilst doing it?

Tyke is still here, staying overday in the box, I removed some more ticks last night, she did her normal poo and wee over me, then trampled it everywhere. I plonked her in the sink to clean her up, then wrapped her in a towel until she was dry. Poor thing was raining last night so she didnt get out much, she isnt a fan of the rain.

My bathroom plughole is blocked, Ive tried several un-blockers, but none of them have worked. Think I might have to take the panel off and try and get the pipe off somehow.

Day off today, so got all the business paperwork up straight, that made me feel better knowing that was all done. Also did my own finances, payday today and none is left :(

Ive had various other disasters too, to be honest too many to list here, I just seem to be having a real bad patch right now. I would like just one day without something happening, would that be too much to ask for?

I need some space

So im not going to be around that much. Ive reached a very very low bit, im better off on my own as I will only snap and say stuff I dont mean. Give it a while and Im sure I will be back....

Tense

Over the weekend, ive been feeling very tense and nervous, now my normal monday dread doesnt start til I wake up, but was really feeling it last night. Its like there is something that you know is going to happen. The thing is the more "rational" side of me knows that its just the way Im feeling right now, but also that I will make something happen to justify the feelings. I dont know its a strange old thing the mind.

Well apart from that Ive rested and relaxed as much as possible. Im not feeling as completely and utterly in despair as I was, plus Ive stopped crying, so thats good at least. Think the tablets have kicked in. The only downside now is that Im not really feeling anything at all. Although its nice I can have a break from fighting, I dont want to be on pills forever. I will talk to the doctors when I go back, but Im thinking that I wont get anymore from him and then see how I am.

Heard from Phill he wont be back til Sunday, which annoyed me, which I told him. There is so much that needs sorting out with the business its un-true. He is just one of those types of people that wont worry about it until it happens. This of course drives me insane!

Plans this week? Ok, tonight another chunk of paperwork. Tomorrow night Im out at a pre-social, social. Its and area thing at work, drinks and awards (on a school night too!) Im off Thursday so can finish up books etc then if need be.

Well thats about it, best go and start the worse day of the week...see im doing it already!!

Photos

Well the books didnt get done this w/e, the weather was nice and to be honest I couldnt face them all in one hit. What I have done is put it into piles so that its more managable. I will re-load the accounts software tonight and do one pile, then another tomorrow. Just the thought of stitting here for about 5 hours solid filled me with dread and I need to keep the right side of happy these days.

Rocky and Tyke return

Home for lunch

What do I find? The landlord has hired some gardeners to "tidy" up the garden, which of course means rip out all of the brambles and nettles, kill all the weeds. Now in the car park thats not to much of a bother, but the side of the garden I use, ive left it a bit wild, but maintained. My heart was nearly broken when I saw the strimmer..

Anyway, managed to speak to them and actually they were quite nice, quite interested in what was in the boxes and the fact Ive got the cams set up to watch the hogs. Also luckily I caught them before they "weeded" my wild bed. Also luckily its raining so no weed killer has been put down, they have agreed to not put it in the garden or near me, but they cant do it until its dry anyway. If quesitoned though they are going to say it was me that asked them not to weed!!!!

Bit sad as all the brambles near the hog boxes have been removed, but they are fast growing. My initial thoughts were, oh god can this get any worse. I supose I just have to accept it for what it is, I had no control over it, its not happening just because its me. I cant be responsible for everything, just hope hoggies are ok and they both come back tonight, luckily I dont think they slep in boxes last night, so will be worrying until I see them....oh well best be back to work.

Up and down

Woke this morning, felt pretty good managed to get a better nights sleep than I have been lately, only woke a few times in the night so all in all not bad. However Ive got this dread building up in me, not sure why. I feel scared, simply scared, what of I dont know or where it even came from. Not sure if the pills are starting to work or not, but I do feel less agitated when something doesnt work, or I have to do something. Mind the test of that will be this w/e when Im faced with the books, that I know will be horrible.

Still at least I didnt feel sick this morning, im still fighting the "I want to go back to bed and sleep forever and never come out again". Thanks for all your comments, remember though no sympathy. Not so sure eating chocolate would do me any good, especially as I am trying to eat healthily, but keeping the house dust free is a daily habbit!

Ok need to make a plan for the day, then be off to the false smile factory..

Keep kidding myself

Through out today, Ive been trying to convince myself that im well and that I dont need to be on the pills. Think its the fact that I feel constantly sick, im having to force feed myself and generally knackered. I did do something I have never done before though, I told a colleague of mine, now the normal response is, do you really need pills, when I was depressed etc etc. Which I smile and tell them Ive been on and off them since a young age. That I try and fight as best I can, but sometimes it wins, it is a cycle, I can fight for so long, but in the end.....

Now you know how much I hate sympathy, so I always turn the conversation around, end up talking about them or what they went through, im not great at talking. Sometimes I am, but generally not. On here it is easier, so I guess over the next few weeks or whatever its going to be about me and how I feel.

Anyway, right now all im thinking is I wish something nice would happen to me. Not just work stuff or anything like that, or even finding the man of my dreams! Just something nice, something to make me smile for real and not this plastered on one that is starting to hurt my cheeks. Just something that will make me forget all the crap thats going around in my head and make me think..you know what my life isnt that bad and its not that bad being me.

NB I know that I have a good life and there are a lot worse people off than me, but right now I cant see it, not so much self pity as self loathing, but I just though I would say that.

Tired

Well had an awful nights sleep, kept waking up in a panic, weird dreams I cant even remember and cold sweats. Im also still feeling very nautious ive been sick this morning, I hate being sick. My mood though is still the same, cant seem to raise it. In fact all I want to do is get back into bed and not get up again.

However Ive told myself not to cry today, my eyes are just so puffy it looks like ive had a really heavy night on the drink! Unfortunatly though Ive just had a few more tears. I just hope the side affects do not last long as I cant cope with having them too

Ok Im not Ok

Well after several weeks of bawling my eyes out and any and most opportunites, followed by bouts of agitated hyperness, coupled with the looming doom cirlcling me, I made an appointment. Actually I tried in the afternoon to get one, but was full, so rang back and went as an emergency. Recpetionist asked me the reason for going, personal I replied.

I only rang as Ive started to cry at work, there is only so many times you can blame red puffy eyes on hayfever in winter! Anyway went down there, didnt get to see my doctor, but did see another one who was quite nice.

I found it weird that he asked me "what he could do for me". That was all it took, to be in tears again. Explained how I was finding it more difficult to cope with life right now, that id been fighting it for about 6 months or so, but to no avail. Went through my medical history what meds ive been on before, talked about family history, so I told him one uncle on meds another killed himself. He asked whether there was a trigger which there hasnt been. Even though im sat there and he is asking me these questions I still cant tell him how im really feeling, just will not come out. So he got these questions out that you have to rate yourself on, just like trouble sleeping or over sleeping, thoughts of faliure or self harm, that kind if thing. Its meant to score you as to the type of depression you have. He did say what type I had, but I cant remember now, but he did say cognative therapy would not do any good.

He said I either had a good car and I was a bad driver, or a good driver with a bad car, which apparently equals chemical in-balance. Think it was subsemia or something he said, really cant remember now. But he fact that I suffer from agitation, hyperactivity, then times of feeling very low and thinking im a faliure and that the world would be better off with out me, means I have that type.

Well I now have my box of happy pills, different from others ive taken, he said these are level 2, whatever that means. I have to take them for 6 months, but go back in 3 weeks to see how Im getting on with them. He also pointed out that the local hospital can help if I find im at that really low point.

Im not happy to be on them, but I need something as Im not coping. Even though I am a stubourn cow, I know when im beaten.

Well I need to fix the heel of my boot as its come loose, plus have the urge to clean the house. Look im not looking for sympathy by posting this, so dont leave any. Support yes, sympathy no..

Weather

Wow its turned so mild again and this rate the sleeping hogs will be back up again thinking its spring! It must be so confusing for them when the fluctuations are this often now.

Lunch was ok yesterday I did have cheesecake, honeycomb flavour with ice-cream yum! Of course felt guilty for all of 5 minutes :)

No boxing this morning, I did get up, but declared today as a day of rest as my body is a bit achy and sore. I need a good massage from preferably a young good looking male who will then get into my bed and act as a bed warmer!!! Ok dreaming again, lets just get today out the way shall we ?!

Get my eating pants on

Im ooot for lunch today, one of these recogniton ones. Its at the Italian mmmmmmmmmmm itlalian bums.......where was I? Oh yeah, lunch..three courses of highly calorific foods, which of course will somewhere contain cheesecake, its my treat when I go out, I would eat it all the time, but then I wouldnt be able to fit through the door anymore! Only thing is these lunches are always so early too, so my appetite is some what diminished. Wonder if I will be good and just have a salad :) with water of course!

Fitness lark

Even tyke is getting into it!!!

I did it!!

Got up at silly o'clock (well 6.45 am) and did 30 mins of boxing. Now at first I was very sleepy as I didnt fall to sleep til at least 1 am but as I got going I was more awake. The shower after was sooooooo good! I would have thought though I would feel energised after doing that, but as I sit here typing this, my eyes are feeling heavy. Wonder if I could fit a cap nap in before work???

Anyway its Monday :( : ( Lets see what the day brings!

Sunday

This would be my new lodger, I let him eat, but then chased him off, seems cruel I know, but its better than what could happen...

Anyway..weighed rocky and tyke last night, tyke is now over 600g's and rocky is 700 g's, so Im happy that they can hibernate safely. I will put on some more stills from the cam later on. Talking of which the blinkin cat that keeps coming is after the mice again, thought it had caught one last night, but it wasnt successful. Ive only the two mice here now, luckily they can scramble under the hog box for safety, the cat cant get under there.

Not really much else to say for today, erm oh just put some jeans on and found £30 in the pockets...love it when that happens! Got a mountain of paperwork and business stuff to do, which im putting off again. I have been through it and made sure there is nothing that urgently needs doing. I just cant seem to find the motivation. Think Im going to have to make myself a schedule to stick too, it might just get me back in the swing of things, or it might be something else to ignore..will see..

My thoughts have been confirmed

There has been something making a home in the loft! The other lunchtime, phill and I could hear something, first of all it sounded like the birds in the guttering, but soon realised it was in the loft. After some initial investigation (he refused to go up there) he saw a squirrel paw come out. It sounded like it was trapped, but eventually I saw it come out. It seems to have lifted up one of the tiles which is how it managed to get in.

The house at the end last year got them in their loft, the council was called out and huge cages were placed in the garden. The council chap did come round and explain what they was going to do, apparently they catch them in the big cages where they have food and water, then they are taken away and erm put to sleep. Not really much I could do about that.

Well, phill has the landlords number but is now in russia, I asked him to get in touch with him to send some one to block up the hole, that way they cant get in, but the council doesnt have to come out.

Well most of the day ive spent in the garden, clearing up hog area, fixing the other hog box etc. I saw that some loft insulation was on the grass, thought must have been were it was trying to get out, but then found more and more and more. It must be still going in there. Ive tried phoning phill but he isnt returning my calls or texts....Ive thought about going up in the loft, but its not really the best idea, there are spiders up there, I will panic next thing I know I will be through the ceiling.

My course of action has to be scare the squirrel at all costs, unfortunately it just looks at me, its not scared in the slightest. So maybe a trip to b&q tomorrow to get some of that expandable foam stuff might do a temporary fix. The only thing is I will have to get on the ladders, which im dreading as there is no-one to hold them for me and no where to tie them onto the house...Im only doing this to stop the council coming round and catching, but I just know I will fall off...wish me luck

More rocky and tyke

Dont they look so cute!!!!!

Feel free

To sway or just cry

Im ok

Please play the above whilst reading this, there will be another song above too please listen to that one as well..

How many times are you asked if you are ok during the day, how many times do you answer yes im fine thanks. Its like when you goto the doctors, first thing they ask is how are you, which we reply Im ok...erm then why are you here?

How comes when anyone starts talking about music, there is a host of stuff that you immediately want to listen too. How come its stuff that often provokes memories and feelings that you would rather forget. For example, pet shop boys, its a sin. I remember haing that on a 12 inch, it was the days I had fantasies about living in a caravan with george micheal and cliff richard, by the sea...ok ok I was a very unhappy kid, hmmmm wonder if thats why im single now, my choice in chaps!!!! Anyway I can remember sitting in the front room one sunday playing it over and over again, never getting bored with it, closing my eyes, singing along, completely lost and singing out so loudly I thought my lungs would burst, until of course being told to switch it off, its the bubble bursting that hurts.

Now this loosing myself in music has always continued, I can just find that place, that place where you are just there with the music and everything else has gone, you are sur-rounded by nothingness, emptiness, just you and the tune. Nothing else can get in. When its really crap but a tune on, headphones on and turn it up until it feels like your ears are going to bleed, the music chases all the crap out, all the stuff you dont want to think about, it takes it all away for at least a glorious 2 minutes, then just start it up again.

Oh I dont know. How comes life feels like one big maze and you cant find the middle, or your way out?

Anyway Godley and Creme, had them on 12 inch too, its such a tune it really is. I think what I need to do is get all my memory tracks and make new ones for them. Not just ones that ive put on to escape from reality.

Well Air supply, used to have this on the juke box at a pub I worked in when I was 16, oh god I can nearly remember what all the tunes were on that thing. Such a weird time in my life too. Its a great break up track too! Real put your head in the pillow and weep like a bairn...

I cant be sad though really, after all I'm ok..........

Stills from last night

Arnt they adorable, in the last ones you can see that they actually chased off the cat....so funny!!!

Tyke!

Taken just before I released her back into the big bad world (well the garden) Took some lovely stills off the came too last night, which I will post later as Im in danger of being late again!!!

Tyke

Saw a small hog on cam as I was brushing my teeth getting ready for bed, outside I went with torch and grabbed hog. Weighed her, just over 500g's, not a bad weight but the poo that she very nicely deposited in the bowl was a bit green. Back out to the shed and bought the larger box in. Kept her so I can make sure she hasnt got worms, sometimes poo can be green if they are stressed or havnt had any "good" food for a while. Settled her in for the night with some tasty food, went to bed.

This morning looked like ww1 had broken loose, water everywhere, food trampled in, she was fine under a towel, really snug and warm, toasty in fact. So cleaned out the box, pleased to say poo was fine, nice colour and firm, no green (apologies if you are eating). She had eaten loads last night too.

Im in two minds as to keep her until she is about 600g's or release tonight......


I also weighed flash last night too, the porker is now 1100g's!!!!!

no title

Im very much lacking in inspiration and motivation right now. This isnt good on many fronts, firstly work, I have to be motivated there, but there is a niggle that is growing, im too bloody soft to say owt, sometimes I wonder if its all in my head!

Secondly, when the dark nights draw in, I just want to come home and close the curtains, sit on the sofa with something highly calorific and ignore the fact that I should be exercising.

Thirdly, there is a pile of accounts stuff that needs doing, that will have to be a job for the w/e, cant face it right now.

Hmmm not sure if I am working this saturday, might have to do them sunday instead.

Fourthly, keeping up with blogs and forums is harder.

Fifthly, the sound of the alarm in the morning, makes me want to get sharpened twigs and poke them in my eyes.

Lastly I want some one else to be me, so I can have some time off....

God I hate mondays

Dont think there has been a good monday at work, now I dont wish to moan, but ARGHHHH!

W/E

Well Saturday was great meeting anna, jan and of course emma (such a cute doggy) Shame pete missed out, but hope he feels better soon....

Today has been pretty crap, not been feeling great, neck ache and sore throat, so this afternoon I gave in and went to bed for a few hours. Phill made dinner which was very nice, ive been trying to get some fire work photos but most of most of the ones here are bangs rather than awwwwws. Oh well will have a look out in a bit. Feeling quite sleepy again, so wont be a late one for me!

Hogs, well 2 smaller ones still coming, Rocky and ? Mystery hog that had its ticks removed friday night, one was right above its eye poor thing, but let me take them out with no fuss at all. I assumed it was rocky, but saw later on cam it wasnt, dont know if boy or girl and as yet no name, so for now will call it mystery!

Well thats about it for the w/e...

more q'sssss

76. Did you think/hope/wish/worry i'd forgotten about this????

Nope!

77. What's the best thing you've done this week?

Finished the year with a huge score! Ive moved up at least one place :)

78. Recall the last time you were frightened.

just now when i looked in the mirror

79. What makes your skin crawl?

Spiders

80. Which film/book has scared you the most?

Has to be the shining

81. Maybe hypothetical, but what would be your costume for Halloween?

Dont need one!

82. Do you derive much pleasure from frightening people?

None at all

83. Seen a ghost? Any interaction?

No, but I do have a guide

84. Have you ever used a Oueeja board? And?

Nope

85. Got E.S.P? Did you 'feel' i was going to ask this question?

Im very intuative

86. What's this question about then.....Huh cleverclogs?

Couldnt possibly say

87. Trick or Treat?

Treat please

88. What did you give the kids who 'come a knockin' on Halloween night?

None came a knockin

89. What do you do (which could be seen by others) that's kinda autistic?

hmmm tough one

90. There are no more questions. (but are there really?)

well I cant see anymore....

OUCH!

I think ive broken my toe. I was in the shower this morning and even though my hair is short now it still blocks the plug hole and makes the bath slippery. I try and stop it being slippery by rubbing my foot on the bottom of the bath, unfortunatly my toe got logged in the plug hole, whilst my foot was still going....OUCH!! The air was very blue I can tell you.

Well best strap up toe and pack up bag, ready to meet jan, anna and sarah, no pete though as he has a man cough!

Oh phill is back today too, we are going to talk arrangements for when his g/f comes over week after next. Well what that actually means is that he will keep saying I dont know what im doing, which will of course drive me insane..

sorry no snoggin

Sorry Pete...woke up this morning with that stinging itchy feeling on my lip... deep joy a lovely coldsore, actually feels like there is about 3 in the bottom corner of my lip. Actually not too bad as you cant really see them, but boy can you feel them.

Well its friday..whoo hoo..leaving thing tonight after work, should be fun, oh crap b'fast meeting this morning again, best get a move on..

sleepy

Getting up at a most unreasonable hour wasnt quite as bad as I was expecting. in fact i could do it every morning...hmmmm i have to tomorrow too, what is it with breakfast meetings.. Exucse lack of punctuation, but the batteries have run out in the keyboard so cant seem to use the shift key..

i will finish this later when i have found new batteries..

New home

Thanks to anna and michael, there is a new wildlife forum!!

Wildlife Forum

GRRRR!!!!

After a very busy day with no time even to come home for lunch. I arrive home to find no internet connection. Try the normal things, switch off the router, swear at it, threaten it with a hammer, but no luck. After phoning the service announcment line I find its a national problem (?) Nothing more I can do.

Try it again a bit later, still not working. I went to switch it off but switched off the pc instead. Little later, I switch everything on again to find the pc will not start. It was doing this strange reboot every 5 seconds, still calm I try a few things, wishing I had the number of some one who would actually know what they was doing to advise me. In the end I press one button and it declares that is is re-formatting the hard drive. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! Nothing I can do but watch it all disapeer into space. If only I had backed up (yeah I know how many times have I said that)

Still fairly calm for me, I then went through the tasks of putting back all the software etc. Wasnt to bad to be fair. Tried the internet, no joy. Finished my wine and went to bed.

Well its back on this morning. Just have to load all the accounts back on now. Such a shame Ive lost all the photos again.....I wonder if Im magnetic as I seem to have this problem with all pc's Ive had ?!?!?!?!?