Tense

Over the weekend, ive been feeling very tense and nervous, now my normal monday dread doesnt start til I wake up, but was really feeling it last night. Its like there is something that you know is going to happen. The thing is the more "rational" side of me knows that its just the way Im feeling right now, but also that I will make something happen to justify the feelings. I dont know its a strange old thing the mind.

Well apart from that Ive rested and relaxed as much as possible. Im not feeling as completely and utterly in despair as I was, plus Ive stopped crying, so thats good at least. Think the tablets have kicked in. The only downside now is that Im not really feeling anything at all. Although its nice I can have a break from fighting, I dont want to be on pills forever. I will talk to the doctors when I go back, but Im thinking that I wont get anymore from him and then see how I am.

Heard from Phill he wont be back til Sunday, which annoyed me, which I told him. There is so much that needs sorting out with the business its un-true. He is just one of those types of people that wont worry about it until it happens. This of course drives me insane!

Plans this week? Ok, tonight another chunk of paperwork. Tomorrow night Im out at a pre-social, social. Its and area thing at work, drinks and awards (on a school night too!) Im off Thursday so can finish up books etc then if need be.

Well thats about it, best go and start the worse day of the week...see im doing it already!!