few ramblings..

I’m feeling rather philosophical today, nowt to do with the late night I had last night drinking wine and talking crap as usual! Think it is one of my favourite things, not the so much the drinking of wine, but drink does lower people’s inhibitions and they will talk more openly. You do get to know more about the person as they are relaxed and are not thinking about how they will be perceived or worried about being judged! In many ways (if done sensibly) it’s a great leveller.
This has got me thinking today how we are all scared to show our real selves, we hide behind what we think we should be how society dictates what we should be like. Of course there are some that do not give a toss and are who they are, but then we look at them as if they are strange. What are we so scared of? We are all odd in our own individual way, why can’t we just show that. Why do we worry when we are told that someone is coming round our house, manically cleaning up? I tell you why from the female side; we are turning into our mothers!

Personally I like a clean house, a short while ago though I would have been one of them mad women rushing round to clean up if I knew of an impending visit. Now I just think hey take me as I am. Yeah there might be a cup still in the sink and my washing on the line, but that me. If you feel the need to judge (lets face it they mostly don’t) then to hell with you!

I guess as I work with people day in day out, I see the people who are hiding behind the perfect self vision they aspire too. My mind often wanders to how they are behind closed doors, when they can take off that false exterior and sit burp and fart like the rest of us. There are also many inhibitions too. I once remember talking to a mate of mine; it was about a programme that had been on TV about nudity. A group of people who were into nudism (is that a word?) were well erm showing their all to anyone. Her thoughts were how this was bad and that they shouldn’t do it in front of children. I disagreed with this, there is nothing wrong with the naked body, and it’s the most natural thing going. It’s only got its stigma as we deem it bad or dirty or worse. Another case of clothing and hiding who we truly are.

Now I’m not saying that I’m a nudist now, as I think that it takes incredible courage and self awareness to be that comfortable in one’s own skin to show it in public, but I have upmost respect for those that do, you can’t really get more open than that can you ?!
I do like to think myself as a good judge of character, years of people watching. I also have read various stuff on body language etc. It does always shock me though when I have been wrong about someone, shocked and sadden really. I hold honesty up as the most important aspect of some ones being. Honesty and integrity, being who you actually are warts and all.

This is why I will have no regrets of stuff that I have done in the past and in the present. I certainly have been no angel at all! Men, drink, drugs, wildness and general naughtiness, although ive never stolen or been on the wrong side of the law! Well ok yes I have been that, but only really a foot over! I often hear though people with regrets about what they have done in the past; oh I shouldn’t have done this or that. Now with stuff like murder or along those lines then yes quite understand that! However with general life stuff, have no regrets, only ever regret the stuff you haven’t done, not what you have done. After all it means you are alive doesn’t it.

Ok these past few months, I have been sounding like ive found some sort of new religion of sorts, my positive attitude to what I have done and the fact that as it can’t be changed why worry about it. I have a list of things I want to do, want to achieve and I want to do them now. Plus why as humans are we so quick to praise some ones achievements and frown on the failures? After all surely failing meant that we have it a go, gave it our best shot, and is it better to have more achievements and fewer failures or the other way around? Praise your failures, that’s what I am trying to do. There arnt many achievements compared to failures in my life, but why should I think that bad? I gave it a go, didn’t work out, but no need to beat myself up over it. Get up brush yourself down and try again. I have a mental list of mine that I work through and I find the good in them. As I said only regret stuff you haven’t done not what you have, even the ones that make you cringe...learn to laugh at them, laugh at yourself. Honestly you will find it easier as you do it, then you will wonder why on earth you was worried that you got drunk ended up in some ones house that you didn’t know talking about your vegetable plot and your carrots at 4 am!

That has just made me giggle. You know when you get comfortable with who you actually are, life gets just that little bit easier. When you know who you are and are happy to share the real you and not hide behind the you that you think you should show, it is easier to kick back and enjoy!