Stuffed!!!

Had a late meeting at work, so after we decided to go for a meal, I did fancy Indian, but the Italian was decided upon, dont mind, hey Italians in tight trousers always a pleasure to see! Not sure what it is about Italians, think its the dark hair and eyes, plus the accent..oooo sends shivers down me, plus when they smile..not too mention their bums!!!

Anyway, had lovely meal, ate too much, probably eaten more calories tonight than I would in the week. Will have to make sure I do lots of exercise tomorrow, if I can keep my mind off bums in tight trousers that is! Mate went on to the pub, wanted me to go, but knackerd, headache and football on..need I say more??

Had a great morning though, spotted a gsw drumming on a tree, couple of gardens down, got some pitcures, you can kind of tell what it is, anyway they will be on other blog..

Well best put photos on other blog, then be off to bed, very very sleepy and expect nice dreams of tight italian bums!!

Mice are back!!

Last night on cam, saw one mouse that was back and eating, havnt seen them for a while so nice to see one last night. The cam seems to be misting up some in the weather, but Im sure it will be clear once the hogs are back again. Last year it was 1 April so not long, plus if this mild weather continues maybe even earlier ?

Birds are out in full force this morning, all singing and chasing each other, still a little early, but its lovely to listen to first thing in the morning, gives you a boost for the day! Expecting to find out about values today at work so should know where I am and what I need to get some good incentive payments. Of course the majority of the payments will go on organic chicken! But when I know whats what, I may also have some other plans this year....Not going to say too much now as it might not happen, but one can plan and dream!

Well best get ready for work, we have some one over today, staying for 3 weeks shadowing so best not be late! I hate it when I have someone shadowing puts me off somewhat, ah well never mind..

Fly away little ladybug

Ive released cyril, I know I shouldnt name them, after all I dont know if it was a ladybird or ladbird, but still...Its now on the ivy, there are some strange insects on there that he/she is now tucking into, ive only been out once to check honest!

Lets hope he makes it and makes lots of little babybirds!!!

Help!!!

I need help with a new house guest I have. I was on the loo this morning when I notice a sizable beetle crawling up the door, after finishing my erm business. I saw it was a ladybug, HUGE for a lady bug, so I put it on the window sill, made it some sugar water as thought It might need a boost, it drank/ate some of that.

Came home at lunch still there, so made a sort of house for it from some green stuff that I got in a small glenfidick tin, put some more sugar water down and thought it owould be on its way.

Now home again and its still there, what do I do? Keep it warm, cold? What do they eat apart from aphids (they dont sell aphids in waitrose)... Please help me as I dont know what to do with him/her...anyone know how to sex ladybirds?

I await your answers..

RSPB garden watch

Well I was up at 8.30, intending to go out for the day, but the weather was grey, I was feeling quite tired (pete must have wore me out) so I decided to stay at home. I was really chuffed with the count this year, they actually turned out! Here's my list:


Done at 9am

3 Blue tits
1 Coal tit
3 Blackbirds
2 Robins
2 Dunnocks
9 Starlings
1 Jackdaw
2 Collard doves
3 Great tits
1 Chaffinch
4 Long tailed tits

Great for me as they normally go off for the day! Missing was the green finches, wren and pigeons, plus the sparrowhawk, but I'm quite happy with my list. Isn't it strange when it comes to things like this we get very protective of our garden birds, some cheat and add what they have seen in the garden as they don't want to appear to have less! Me I'm thank full for the birds I do get coming to the garden, especially considering where I live!

It got to 1pm and I was soooooooo tired, not the evening sort of tired, but the I can't keep my eyes open anymore, feel shattered, NEED to sleep. Now I know I'm not meant to do this as it messes my sleep up, but I was so incredibly knackered I had no choice. Thought I will just have an hour......four hours later and I'm awake again, still feel tired and I could quite happily go back to sleep again. Only thing was that the bed clothes got drenched was quite a bad sleep sweat, normally worse when I have nightmares, which I did. Still umming and arrrring over docs, think I will have to go as Im noticing other stuff too, now this could be...whats the word..phsycosematic (spelling), but I will see how I get on this week. Best get the photos on the other blog!

Oh Pete note the use of the '

Pete and Barnes

A most enjoyable day, apart from having my photo taken sneakily on several occasions, I reckon he has at least 30 of me! I was actually early, quite proud of myself as normally I am late for everything. Got to Barnes in good time, of course tea was the first thing on the agenda.

Day was spent mainly snapping away, hope I didn't talk too much. Oh and I found pete a girlfriend, a lovely lady too ;). Wasn't that hungry when it came to lunchtime, but hey Im a cheap date! I was quite disappointed though when it came to him feeling my calf, he didn't really give it long enough of a feel, was going to say that, but he might have thought I was a bit more odd than I already am!

Not going to say anything about the journey home, apart from it wasn't my idea to turn around.....nuff said.

Anyway best get on with the photos, there are quite a few, can see me being at it all night!

All in all a good day and I enjoyed his company very much, apart from being photographed, but that I blame on boo. If you want a copy of the photos, there is a small fee of £5 which will of course go to a deserving charity ;)

Yipeeee

found the software, so can start to be back to normal again, suprised me the difference in taking photos really has! Other news got results from docs, dont really understand them, have decided not to go back to doctors unless I get worse as I just cant be bothered with it now. Im sure its ok as otherwise he would want to see me ?!? Ive looked at some scenarios, but I think I will give it a bit more time. I have to see him in Feb for a check up on my depression so if im still having the problems then I will talk to him then about it.

happy friday!

Lovely to see the teaspoons back in the garden, they were being chased off by the other tits but they managed to come down and feed, I did get a couple of shots, but they arnt great due to light etc, but will look at them later. So nice to add another species to the garden that makes...14 different types now! Wonder if they will all show up over the w/e when I will do the count??

Quiet day

Actually been fairly busy trying to sort some stuff out, but not done much else. Trying to find somewhere to buy a key for some software, but had no luck at all, having to use picassa which im not overly happy with. Have another place tomorrow to phone so fingers crossed.

Looking forward to the w/e, nice lay in on Saturday, easy easy day. Oh no have to be up early as having day out with pete, he said I can sleep in the car, but Ive told him that couldnt do that as he might take advantage of me! Im actually looking forward to it, going birding or fluttering, not the taking advantage of...but then again.....

Apart from that had another good day at work, hope to find out next week how the new bonus will work, I can then work out what I will expect to get in the first quarter, if its what I think then its happy days ahead!

So thats about it really, friday tomorrow..yippppeeee!!!

Snow!!!

Yipppeeeeeeeeeee Love the stuff! Will take some photos to show oc british snow ;)
I miss phill when it snows as we always go out and have a snowball fight, he is a big kid like me! Not much fun throuwing them at yourself :( Wonder if I will still be going out for dinner tonight? Ah well, best get dressed and take some snow photos...

Morning!

Brrrghhhh its certainly turned chilly this morning, not enough for a frost, but still fairly cold! Just been out and topped up the trunk, much to the birds delight, lots of fat pellets for them to eat, I must remember to get some peanut butter when I goto the shop next, going to fill up the coconut feeders with it and hang them up.

Slept better last night, only actually woke up twice, so feel a bit more awake today, needed! Also after today I will be all security marked! Wonder if he will mark me in case I get lost or stollen, hmmmm wonder where he could mark me ;)

Stressed!!!!!!!!

ARGGGGHHHHHHHHH! What is wrong with me today, everything ive done or said has been back to front or upside down, even typing this is a struggle! Ever get one of those days?? Actually the day hasnt been too bad, quite successful where work is concerned done a week and a half target in one day, but boy has it been a struggle to do it! Most of the time I was talking shite (more than normal). Going to have some dinner and try and calm down. Even boxing didnt help, I was punching triple hard today too, wanted to get some frustration out, after last week, plus the comments I got. Actually Im not that surprised by the comments, small minded people can indeed be very spiteful. Actually I feel quite cheated in the fact that it was done in a cowardly way, a way in which was meant to make me look bad, yet in fact made him out to be spiteful and extremely immature..still would have been nice to tell him why I didnt goto my grandmas funeral, also why I didnt stay "long" at the hospital, although it was certainly longer than twenty minutes, but then my family like to do that, exaggerate. Still never mind, I know what I say isnt soap opera but my life and too be honest, staying out of theirs isnt a hardship, after all you cant miss what you have never had.

Bit fed up

Sorry Im moaning again, but im getting a bit fed up of these night sweats, it got that bad last night I had to turn the duvet around. Im freezing my arse off as I have got the window open, but its making no difference at all. I feel dehyrdrated most of the time, keep drinking lots of water to try and overcome that. Its just getting on my nerves a bit keep waking up several times in floods of sweat for no reason at all!

Anyway, feels like a north wind blowing today, snow is forecast, but I wont get excited as yet, normally when they say it will it doesnt and when they say it wont it does! Mind more birds are in the garden this morning, so maybe they no something we dont!

Im on a course this morning so no early start for me, which is nice I can make a few calls that I would have had to make at lunchtime, just business stuff and tax stuff. Ive been told that I will get my wages at the end of the month!! Well think I will do a bit of snapping before 9 then make these calls...

Early Sundays!

Im not that keen on getting up most mornings, but on Sundays I think I deserve a lay in. However as I knew that I would be doing something, I got an earlyish night. Only to be awoken at midnight by phill phoning, he was out doing a pop quiz and wanted me to listen to the song and say who was singing it, the song being "pearls a singer". I muttered about being in bed and we said our goodbyes! Actually its a very good song, not sure if I have it on cd anywhere.

Anyway, up at the ridiculous time of 8am! Packed a bag, made some lunch and headed off to Cambridge. At the train station, there was an abundance of crows, tits, starlings, sparrows, robins and even two rabbits! The reason for going to Cambridge was I was looking on the net and found that there are nature reserves in the city. Found a couple not far from the train station so thought I would have a look.

Mile and a half walk from the train station, im thinking they must be around here somewhere. I spy a gap in the hedge, cross the road and Im in one. Now its not really a reserve at all, more of a nice walk. Quite a few of the normal birds, if you like robins then defiantly go, they were lots all singing too. Walked round that one, got stuck in the mud a few times and managed to avoid dog shite, why owners cant clean it up...?

It was nice, sort of scrub, sort of wooded area, with a small I guess you would call it stream running along. More for dog walkers though I would say, but never the less a nice walk.

I decided to try and find the other one, that was easier, just crossed the road. This one was empty or people and birds really. It had a pond and a jetty which was flooded. Apparently there are kingfishers in the pond, not that I saw any! I think it will be nice come summer as I dont think it gets used at all, will be nice sitting on the jetty looking for dragons and the like. Bird wise, well not a great deal at all, but as the seasons change it might improve, it still looks quite a "new" place and as I said no-one else was there, which will be nice come summer.

So all in all ive got another couple of local places to visit later in the year. I will put some photos on other blog once they are done. Then as a treat I am cooking a nice roast dinner! I never cook a roast when its just me, doesnt seem the point, but im looking forward to it, I might even make yorkshires...YUM!

What to do..

Well it was a bit murky when I first got up this morning, so had a small snooze. When I woke up again it was sunny!! Packed my bag and decided to goto Arlesey. There are several walks, I printed some off the net, put them in the bag too and went to get the train~! Guess where it is Jan, just the other side of the train station!!!

Started off walking, its a nice place, very peacefull, lots of trees, water etc. Boy oh Boy was there lots of mud too. I was very wary of doing a "pete", in fact several times my shoe got stuck in the mud and my foot carried on, luckily I did manage to stay upright. Saw most of what I would expect in the way of birds, did see a kestrel having an arguement with a crow, ltt's, robin, blue tits, great tits etc. Now I imagine in summer it will be a good place to go and see flutters and dragons. Talking of flutters I also saw a red admirial too!

Finished one walk, went on to the other one, very pleasant, but too muddy to have a real arm swinging, mind emptying walk. Still will go back when spring and summer is here as I do think it will be a nice local place for me to go.

Came back via pets at home, spent a fortune! Got home cleaned the feeders, re-stocked them, sorted out hog boxes (small amount of wind damage). Just done the photos from today will put them on the other blog. Got some office work to do, think I will do it tonight so tomorrow is free. Hope for some more sunshine, though not thought about where to go..

Friday!

Yay! Its been a long week, but now its nearly done! Got docs at lunchtime today, they are doing some tests, wont get the results for a week, but at least I got in quite soon. Boss has offered for me to take as much time off as I need, will see how I feel after, if crap then I will come home early. They are good like that at work, mind after all in three years ive probably had in all 4 days sick, so they know that im not swinging the leg, or is it led? Can never remember that one. Oooh last night I heard the owl, couldnt figure out where it was, but definatly heard it, quite exciting, just hope I can get a good view and it at least flys over the garden, that way I can add it too my list? Would that count? Talking of garden lists, just a wee reminder its the RSPB garden watch count this w/e, I fill mine online, but they also sent a paper reminder too! ALways when I have done it though, the birds hide! Still I will do at some point over the w/e, I so hope the weather is at least dry...

Firstly

I will apologise for the comments on the last post, I never have had anything to hide, I tell it like it is and how I feel, for that I dont apologise, but unfortunately it is sometimes easier to write a comment in spite rather than pick up the phone and face some one...

Anyway, had a lovely lunch today, was nice to catch up with an old workmate of mine, he now works in the city! Personally I couldnt hack the train journey every day, train then tube, no thanks. However its nice to seem him happy and contented in his job. Talking of which we got our new targets today, they are pretty much what I was expecting really, not too bad, of course challenging, but achievable.

Last night about 10.15 ish I was outside and saw and owl shaped bird in the tree, just at the back of the garden. Im sure it wasnt anything else but it was too dark to see really. I came back in and grabbed the torch and camera, but couldnt get a shot, then as I was fiddling with the camera settings, it flew off :( Still nice to know they are about!

Also had another good bit of luck today, one of my customers is a community policeman, I was asking about labelling goods, like the camera, he has offered to come in next week and mark up all of our personal belongings! He is a really nice chap.

Got my docs appointment booked for tomorrow, not looking forward to it, but never mind, its necessary if they will (hopefully) find out what has been wrong with me. Just hope they do find something so I know what it is, that ive got or dealing with! Once I know, then I can start to make plans then.

Took a couple more squig photos this morning, so will put them on the other blog. Lets hope for some sunshine at the w/e, planning a days walking, really, really, really looking forward to it, fresh air and a long hard walk, just what I need!

well...

I was with the doctor 40 mins, he was running an hour late, but I dont mind as my doctor will give you all the time you need. Im not going to go into too much detail, as I still am unsure what is wrong. He said that it isnt pre-menopause and it isnt a side affect of the tablets, he did some other stuff at the time, but still no further on. Enough to say that it wont be my last trip to the docs, which reminds me I need to ring them and make another appointment. I wish I could fast forward a week so I would know a bit more. Im quietly worrying, but trying to remain positive, until I know what it is....

Anyway, lets try and fill my head with other stuff instead! If you do want to know then I dont mind telling you, you know how to get hold of me...

Other news...blimey its windy again, everything seems to be still in tact at the moment! Its Thursday so nearly Friday. OK im not good at small talk this morning, pity as I have a day ahead of small talk. Best try and get work head on, bit like aunt sally!

Doctor Day!

Am I excited? Of course I am! NOT, for once I wont go into graphic detail about what he will be doing, im sure ive told most of you anyway!! I got a text last night from a work collegue asking me to goto lunch on thurday, they had originaly sent it to me on saturday, but I forgot to reply. My answer was bum, sorry forgot but would love to meet for lunch. Their answer? How come we always end up talking about your anatomny?? Mental note to self stop talking about my bits and pieces. There is only one bloke that works in the branch, he is quite well versed now on the woes of women, poor lad, I do tel him he has the option to cover his ears, mind I do always make sure the microphones are turned off before I tell my stories to the counter now, been caught out on that one far too many times!

Urghhhk its dark and miserable this morning, just checked the weather forecast shoud be a bit better next week. Decided that I will have a trip out somewhere this w/e, should be watching the pennies at the moment, but sod it think I deserve it, dont you?

Sorry

If I dont get this out, I will be severly messed up for a few days, right now I need to stay focused. Its always the same when I talk to my mother, guilt being the main feeling. Even when I try and keep the conversation short and too the point, I get guilt. Guilt that I wasnt the daughter they wanted, guilt because of getting pregnant, guilt that I didnt stay on pass my a-levels and be in some high powered job right now, guilt that I moved away and never looked back, guilt that I was a disapointment.

Well the call was short and sweet, asked her a few questions that I can take with me to the doctors tomorrow. I didnt stay on too long as I just dont want to get back into all that again, it will fuck me up even more than I am now. She asked what I had been experiencing and I told her straight. I just couldnt stay on the phone though, I was nearly loosing it, dont want to do that, dont want them to think that im not coping. Of course Im not, but hey they dont need to know that. Just had a missed call from her now telling me she loves me, now theres the killer stab in my heart, jeez she knows how to do it too me. Ok must go and wipe my eyes and try to sort temporarily fucked head out.

Perimenopause

Some-one left a comment on the blog asking if I had the above, now at 31 my initial reaction was at my age?? However after reading about it (the net is a wonderful thing) I am now going to ask the doctor when I see him tomorrow. It all fits, the mood swings, hot flushes, night sweats and not too mention tender breasts. Sorry blokes I should have warned you it was going to be one of them posts!

Its kinda got me worried though, after all I am only 31!! I know I should wait until ive seen the doctor before I start thinking doom, plus Im sure that if it is the case it can be treated. Blimey didnt think I would have to worry about this for at least another 10-15 years. Then there is the kids thing, now ive never been oh yes I must have children etc etc. What happens though if im told that my chances are reduced, what if it gets that bad I have to have a hysterectomy. Will I still feel the same then?

OH GOD!!!!

Cut back

Well as it was a nice day and the butterfly house I was going to visit was closed...decided to get some jobs done in the garden. Mainly cutting things back. The budlea got quite a hard cut, but it produces more flowers I find this way. Also Im doing it a bit earlier this year, as last year it seemed to flower quite late, so hope it will flower a bit earlier this year.

Just need to do a bit more out the front, then its done. Its a very easy to maintain garden, as Im not fussy about the weeds or nettles, the only thing I dont allow to spread is that twisting stuff that seems to strangle all the other plants. I do need to repot the pots out front, but had a look and they seem ok, so think I will do that in the autumn. Its my least liked job, but necessary.

Took a few photos today (on the other blog) Also added a few more bits to the trunk. I read somewhere that birds like banana (cant stand it myself) so ive put some on a twig and stuck in the trunk. Most birds are still ignoring the trunk, but the starlings and robin have used it so far. They also have a new fat block feeder too. The stems from the budlea, ive gathered some up to start making a screen. The rest have been placed near the hog boxes to rot down and have insects hopefully make home in.

Now, ive done my boxing, had a bath. All I need to do now is devise a plan for some weight lifting (to be done in the mornings). I dont want to look like one of those body building type women, but I would like to be stronger and more supple. After all if I want to stay active into later life, then I had better start now!!!

Sunshine!!!!

At last some sunshine, its cold but heck its sunny!!! Had a nice morning, basking in the lovely sun (ok the shed). Was going to go further afield but my back is playing up at the moment, last night I had to have a hwb on it as it was that sore. Think its lack of work at the moment then when im going back and some one else has used my desk, they change the chair settings too. Takes me an age to get it back to how it should be.

Hope to be able to have a walk up on the fields this afternoon, but not sure as yet as it will be quite muddy and I dont fancy doing a "pete"..We will have to see..

Somthing about Saturdays

I dont work that many to be fair, plus it does mean I get Monday off :) However I always feel a bit peed off when I work as Im an extra and its never busy so time drags.......

However today I think they are two short so hopefully it will be busy, but not the busy I will be shouted at all day, but the nice kind of steady so time passes quickly!! Will go and feed the ducks after, maybe take some photos depending on weather. Plus got to do a few jobs in toon, including looking at some new trainers as under foot problem is getting worse..

Bills, Bills, Bills

The electric, gas and tv license all in one month!!!!Shame really as I was going to "borrow" some of my bills savings for something else. Never mind thats what its there for! I do dislike January on the finance front it seems a long time to payday, nothing more I like than sitting down, moving my money about and checking that everything can be paid for. Sounds a bit sad I know, but ive had times when all ive been able to do is pay the bills and not afford to eat, luckily im in a much better position now :)

Roll in February and then I will know what my bonus is and what my payrise is!!!

I know

we have all been busy or spotty or in hospital, or on holiday AGAIN!!! But please dont forget out Little Forum

Be good to see you all back on there :)

Quickly

just to add a few more birds to garden list

wren
pigeon
sparrowhawk (sat on the fence this morning)

just been taking some photos of a starling, very very tame. Almost like he was in shock, maybe a strike? He has just eaten and drank. now flew away. Oh heck lots of photos to process tonight!!!

Best be off cant be late twice in one day!!!

Blimey!

Who ordered this wind this morning? Blowing a gale out there! At least the bird table is still standing, shouldnt doubt phills bird table engineering!!!

Well back to work again today, hardly been there of late, makes a change for me to have time off, thing is you get kinda used to it, so when you have to go back its a bit of a chore. Plus in my head as its Thursday, is it really worth doing much now?

Im also working on saturday, but thats ok as I have a few bits to get in toon, including some new trainers as the old ones are starting to make my under foot hurt when I do any exerscie. Gosh its all spend spend spend with me at the moment. I am hoping to secure another little part time job doing some book work so that should help with the cash flow, shouldnt take up too much time either, as I can do it when I do the books here. Ive also told phill that I do really need to be given something for doing his books and his personal stuff too, he has agreed, but ive yet to see the folding stuff at the moment.

Will have to have a look at the finances today and see how much I can afford, if not it will go on the 0% card for now. Goodeness my bonus aint half gonna be stretched thin!!!

Decided

There will now be 2 blogs! One for the photos and one for all the crap I want to talk! Actually it will be easier for me to look at past photos. Anyway its all up and running and Ive filled it with photos already!

Time for a change?

Im thinking about changing blogger, well not blogger as such but this blog, it really is becoming a photo gallery rather than a blog, but not quite sure as what to do as yet. One possibilty is to start another blog, but then could I really keep 2 blogs going? Or just carry on as it is now? Or stop this one and start a new one? Will have to think some more.

and the photos....

As you can see, the first visitor to the new table was the squig, hope he doesnt think its just his!

Me update

Time for an update on me.

Well, where do I start, everything is mainly ticking along, im taking my pills everyday. In fact I just went down to the doctors for my repeat scrip. Strangely on the way down there, I was thinking about what would happen if I got there and the scrip was missing. More oddly when I did actually get there the scrip was missing! Spooky, it was still with the doctor, they eventually tracked it down and I got my scrip.

One of the reasons Ive never kept on the pills is the embarrassment I feel when I have to get them from the pharmacy, now its all in my head I know that, but I cant help but feel a sense of failure. Now I know that Im not a failure and well this is an illness as much as chicken pox is, but I do think that when it is to do with the mind, people tend to back off a bit. Actually now when you say to people you are depressed, they either don’t believe you or think you are just trying to get time off work. Some one I sort of know recently found out that there dad had cancer, very very sad and my deepest sympathies go to them, but it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when that person then gets signed off work for 2 weeks suffering from depression, a thing that they are highly proud of. In fact when ever I hear people say that they are depressed, due to non-depressive things I do find myself getting quite mad really, guess its gone the same way as back pain. The only time I have had off with depression was about 4 years ago now; I had 2 hours off as I couldn’t get myself composed.

Thing is I find myself now pretending that Im happy and that Im ok. Phill says he notices the difference in me, that I should carry on taking the pills, man what must I have been like before. But Im not sure when the pretence finishes and reality starts. Its quite mind boggling. Am I happy as I am happy, or is it a false happy as Im led to believe that the pills make me happy?!?

I also don’t feel right in myself, can’t put my finger on it, but something’s not right. Im having really bad nightmares again, almost to the point of hallucination. For a while now Ive been waking up in floods of sweat, I put it down to being hot. Your temperature rises before having a period. Wearing PJ’s in bed. Now when I wake up, im pretty groggy so tend to think urrrghhk then go back to sleep. This morning I made myself wake up, I wasn’t hot at all, didn’t feel hot, not hot to the touch, yet my whole body was soaking, you could have rung out my hair. I distinctly remember having a really horrible dream, not the normal type where im being murdered or owt like that. More the type where past is forced into the present, the what could have been are lived out in your dreams. The mind can be a particularly cruel thing.

I don’t know; guess I should stop trying to make sense out of everything. Some days it just feels like 3 steps forward and 50 back. Especially when I came home and cried again, without even knowing why.

Anyway, going to do some boxing then will post up some photos, maybe that will make me smile.

Work in Progress

BEFORE



AFTER









Well the day has been long, but we managed it, off to a bit of a rocky start, my frustration mounting, but soon got out the house! First mission find a trunk, local woods provided that, there was loads lying about, most were dead and rotting, but a longer search and I found the one. Ok it didnt quite fit in the car, but a little bit of jiggling and it soon did. Stop off at b&q for some more materials, then home.

Out in the rain and cold, I was in charge of chisiling until I broke the hammer, then my job was screwing. I did also get to drill holes in the wood too!! Also cut the shed door in half to make a stable door, just need to sort out some netting now for the top half. As for the stump, it will be on going, I hope to get some more rotten stumps for the bottom, to encourage more bugs to move in, plus some more twigs. Future plans also include adding a water element. For now im chuffed with it. Will start to take the old bird table down gradually over the next week or so. I really do think that the new one is a huge improvement and has a lot of potential. Also more bugs can live in it which also helps the birds too.

Ok let me know what you think!

Fleurs

Urghhhhhk

Weather is all crappy again, jobs are all done in the house, guess the only thing thats left too do is shopping.

Squig

What a crap but very productive day! Weather was non-stop rain, couldnt go out anywhere. However the buisness did get all up straight, every thing that had to be done is now done. Which is also good as when Phill comes back there will be nothing for him to do apart from help me build......moi sneaky?

Break from the books

Awful, Awful, Awful weather! Only had an hour outside, but must get back and hit the books to get another job out the way!

Ok last moons I promiss

Mooning again

Men, dont read this!

Women only past this point!






























Ok well I did warn you. Apparently my cervix resembles Mick Jaggers lips. It was the weirdest telephone conversation I have ever have. Now my doctor is lovely and is very funny too. He firstly said not too worry, he is sure everything will be ok, but cant guarantee it (obviously). He went on to say that I have cervical abrasions (what?) I asked him to explain, which is when he went on too say that imagine pursing your lips together, you see more white than red (normal), then imagine having mick jaggers lips, you see more red than white, well hey thats my cervix. Its not a problem, it can be fixed if need be. He then went on too say, if I was to have bleeding after intercourse it would be a problem, it can also produce more wetness (he did say another word but will spare you that), then he said the killer part...... It sometimes is handy if you are more moist like this as when you are having sex you wont have to use ky jelly, im so pleased it was on the phone and not face to face. Anyway as long as I dont have to wear a pad each day through excessive moistness, or have bleeding after sex, he offered to check that, but only if I didnt have sex every day (chance would be a fine thing). I did tell him that I wasnt having those problems thanks anyway!

Well he is going to do the next smear on the 17th (mid cycle) he is going to do 2 (joy), he realises its not fun for us ladies, but he would rather do it and try to get a satisfactory result. If its not satisfactory then It will be hospital job. More waiting I know, but no other option right now. He did his best to reassure me and in many ways he has. Also in many ways I wont be able to look him in the eye, mind that wont be a problem on the 17th.

So we wait again.....

Thank God

For Fridays... Just get this Doctor thing out the way this morning, see what he has to say, then I can perhaps relax a little. So much to do over the next few days. Think it will be tidy the house and do washing tonight so thats out the way. Up early tomorrow and run the payroll. Depending on weather, might try the gulls again or some where else local. Need to find a tree stump from some where and get that home some how...(?)

Then tidy out some of the shed so I can actually move in there, might move the indoor hog boxes to the other shed that will give me some more room. Then in the afternoon, start drawing up plans for the new bird table, maybe trip to B&Q to buy some materials that I will need.

Sunday, relax and chill out (of course camera will be out at some point).

Monday, start work on the bird table..

Tuesday, have bird table finished try out shed.

Wednesday, not sure as yet.

Thursday, back to work again :(

Well thats the plan, but of course subject to change! If I dont get the tree stump, then frankly I will be stumped (groan)..

Moon

Inspired by Deans moon photos, thought I would try some, not too sure I like the outcome, so might just pop out and try again!

Slim Pickings

The only half decent shot I managed today :( Had a very frustrating day, which has led me to be in a bad mood tonight. Did some boxing that normally helps, but not tonight, I feel fed up, frustrated and grumpy.

Nurses and Doctors

Well the nurse phoned, the Doctor is calling tomorrow......amzingly Im still keeping calm, after all if it was bad then the doctor would have phoned, wouldnt he?

Dark Mornings

Only one thing I want to do, pull the duvet back on and snuggle into my bed! Well first day back wasnt too bad, had a few huffy people, but then some are just generally huffy unfortunatly.

Ive booked a few days off next week, had some days I couldnt carry over so may as well take them whilst its quiet. Phill is back on Sunday I think, but shussshhh dont tell him, the plan on Monday is too build the new bird table! I think he will be really pleased about doing that :) He has found some where in Baku that sells lenses so ive emailed him a list to get some prices to comapare. Im not going silly, but want to see what the difference in price is first. Suppose any manuals will be in russian, but then his g/f could always translate. Oh who am I kidding I never read them anyway!

Oh and Boo if you are back at home reading this, get too bed and rest! Everyone sends their love and best wishes for your speedy recovery. Im sending you all my bestest thoughts too x

Oh crap!

Letter from the doctor (chaps you might want to turn away now) about 2nd smear results, still not a satisfactory result, had to ring them. Spoke to the nurse about it, she doesnt know why, they even used the brush last time, but something isnt right. Talk now of going to hospital for a colcospacy (sp), great! Too be honest think I would rather have that done than wait another month, then have that done. I will be honest with you Im worried, there is a lot of medical history, my mother had a hysterectomy due to cancer in the cervix, her mum died of breast cancer, her brother had a testical removed due to cancer. OK Im not getting ahead of myself here, but well until I know I think I am going to worry.

Well I was going to do some boxing, but cant quite get in the mood, think I will busy myself taking the decorations down, try and keep mind off it and wait for the doctor to call me back :(

Oh only one other bird to add to garden list


CD

As expected

Didnt get to sleep til past 2 am! Always the same when its my first day back at work, get very nervous and anxcious. Woke up late, made up some time, but doing this doesnt help...oh well!

Sky looks lovely this morning all red and blue, think thats bad weather..red sky in the morning...? Well best get ready to goto work :(

Bit dark this morning to see what birds in the garden, only new addition to yesterday is:

Magpie

Must start making plans for new table, think I will start on that tonight, hmm also got payroll to run too. Its getting to the point I need to have a weekly timetable. Also want to start boxing again in the evenings, take a photography course etc etc.

Ok then

Lets see how long I can keep this up for! Birds seen today in the garden. Will be a morning and lunchtime list when I get back to work!

Blue tit
Great tit
Blackbird
Jackdaw
Starling
Greenfinch
Chaffinch
Dunnock
Robin

Talking of which, back to work tomorrow, start of the new year and new targets (joy). Still seen some lenses I want to buy, so have to work very hard to get good bonus! Im actually looking forward to going back, not particularly as I like working, but the routine is good for me. Having time off is nice, but sometimes you have too much time on your hands and the old head can get a bit annoying! Well it will be bath and early night for me, now that will be a shock getting up in the morning. I suppose one good thing it will be a short week.

New Years Day Birds & Squiggles